boing ... boing ... boing ... boing ...
Posted on 03/19/2022 10:30:07 AM PDT by Fester Chugabrew
Sharp Doughnuts
Hoffa Meats
Amputee Mowing Service
Bendover Soap Company
Pubescent Shampoo
Thunderfart Baked Beans
Brown's Underwear
Libel Publishing Co.
Monica's Dress Shop
B*tch Queen Kennels
Botch Tape
Pinprick Prophylactics
Porky's Kosher Deli
Amalgamated Dithering
Skunk Perfume
Earhart Airlines
Warpmaster Lumber
Big Tex Lingerie
Invisible, Inc.
Berger Security, Inc.
Bambi Shotguns
Fudge Packing Co.
Titanic Pools
Dead Tree Paper Co.
Capone Bat Co.
Dullsworth Books
Face Stapler Co.
High Jeans
Bucky Toothbrushes
Fulldrop Piano Co.
Berger Safes
Trusty Stools
Mattress Ammonia Co.
Pebble Marshmallows
Penthouse Screws
Moore's Yogurt
Helen Thomas Makeup
Waterman's Roofing Co.
Pelosi’s Denture Glue
The Biden School of Elocution
Slashmor Tires
Obamaroid Cream
McConnell Lye Soap
boing ... boing ... boing ... boing ...
Golden Shower pork
Surprising Flavors beef
Choked Chicken dim sum
And then there are real businesses that fail.
Our family tried Schwan’s many years ago. Similar experience. I don’t think the new name will help.
Fauci Scientific
Full Deck Mental Health Center.
In Pennsylvania we have Bimbo Bakeries. I think they own Sara Lee and other well-known brands.
Hannibal Lecter’s Gourmet Restaurant
There was a Deli in Easton, CT called Durty Dick’s.
Might still be there.
Bimbo was originally a Mexican bakery, founded 1945. Their home page says that the name the name ‘Bimbo’ is “a combination of Bingo, a popular song in America at the time, and the Disney movie, Bambi”.
We get their sandwich bread at the local Hispanic store. It isn’t much different from Wonder Bread.
“Thunderfart Baked Beans”
Oh, man, I’d buy a case and give it away as gifts.
Ha! There is a Bimbo Bakery not far from here, too. Northern Indiana. They produce several baked brands. Odd name for a bakery.
These are actual businesses I found at this site:
https://www.qualitylogoproducts.com/blog/top-10-worst-business-names/
Analtech - Newark, DE
Morning Wood Company - Jacksonville, FL
Bunghole Liquors - Peabody, MA
Poopsie’s - Pembroke, MA
Sam & Ella’s Chicken Palace - Tahlequah, OH
Passmore Gas & Propane - Lake Havasu City, AZ
Chew-N-Butts - Cle Elum, WA
Master Bait & Tackle - Bonita Beach, FL
Dumass Taco - Tomball, TX
Knobs ‘n’ Knockers - Lahaska, PA
I even gave you the name of the city/town where they were located and there are pictures of the locations at the site.
Wy69
Boss Come in. (Mr Frog comes in) Ah, Frog.
Frog S. Frog, sir.
Boss Shut up, I want to have a word with you, Frog.
Frog S. Frog, sir.
Boss Shut up. It’s about your advertising campaign for Conquistador Coffee. Now, I’ve had the managing director of Conquistador to see me this morning and he’s very unhappy with your campaign. Very unhappy. In fact, he’s shot himself.
Frog Badly, sir?
Boss No, extremely well. (lifts up a leg belonging to a body behind desk, and holds up a card saying ‘joke’) Well, before he went he left a note with the company secretary (opens a nearby door; a dead company secretary falls out), the effect of which was how disappointed he was with your work and, in particular, why you had changed the name from Conquistador Instant Coffee to Conquistador Instant Leprosy. Why, Frog?
Frog S. Frog, sir.
Boss Shut up. Why did you do it?
Frog It was a joke.
Boss A joke? (holds up card saying ‘joke’)
Frog No, no not a joke, a sales campaign. (holds up a card saying ‘No, a Sales Campaign’)
Boss I see, Frog.
Frog S. Frog, sir.
Boss Shut up. Now, let’s have a look at the sales chart. (indicates a plummeting sales graph) When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, ‘Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit’. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign ‘the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete’s head. From the House of Conquistador’.
Frog It was a soft-sell, sir
Boss Why, Frog?
Frog S. Frog, sir.
Boss Shut up! Well?
Frog Well, people know the name, sir.
Boss They certainly do know the name - they burnt the factory down. The owner is hiding in my bathroom (shot heard) - the owner was hiding in my bathroom. (holds up ‘joke’ card again)
Frog You’re not going to fire me, sir?
Boss Fire you? Three men dead, the factory burnt down, the account lost and our firm completely bankrupt, what... what... what ... can you possibly say? What excuse can you possibly make?
Frog Sorry, father. (holds up the ‘joke’ card)
Floyd Respirators
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