Posted on 02/20/2022 4:30:22 PM PST by Morgana
BEAVERTON, OR—After carefully listening to feedback from a growing chorus of three of their customers, Nike is making some long-awaited improvements to their 2022 women's swimwear line. Nike's new "Performance Series" of one-piece competitive women's swimsuits will feature extra room in the crotch for male genitalia.
"We suddenly realized we weren't serving a very important segment of women competitors—those with male genitals," said Nike VP of Diversity and Inclusion Xandryx Bithrannamynx. "Now, women of all shapes and sizes will be able to compete in their favorite swim sports!"
Several product designers at NIKE questioned the decision, as the new swimsuits now fit much too loosely on 99.97% of female swimmers. Those product designers were immediately condemned as transphobes and fired—after which they were doxxed, removed from social media, frozen out of their bank accounts, condemned publically by President Biden, and beat up by a 327-pound trans woman named "Lila" before being dumped on the street to fend for themselves.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
200% more crotch room. Makes me want to barf
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I could use 65% more swimsuit material to cover my arse.
The Babylon Bee is what the Onion used to be 20 years ago.
You just KNOW it’s on the drawing board.
I read it...and read it again...and again...said that cannot be.... Got me good!!
Bet they already have them.....’specially cuz many of these whatevers probably have their own pool.
A zero on the B for this one. They are above this. IMMHO.
Hey, when did the Bee start reporting real news?
I wouldn’t put it past a woke company to do exactly this.
The problem is that this is all too believable - parody is more realistic than what people are saying and being serious about these days.
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