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Washington Commanders Unveil New Mascot ‘General Custer’
The Babylon Bee ^ | 2-3-2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/03/2022 10:57:06 AM PST by servo1969

SUMMERFIELD, MD—The Washington Football Team changed its name this week, finalizing a year-long transition from 'Redskins' to 'Commanders.' Along with the shiny new name, the team announced a brand new mascot: General George Custer.

"We wanted a mascot that would represent the ultimate commander," said team owner Dan Snyder. "Someone the fans could rally behind as we make our last stand on defense."

General Custer, who famously said, "There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry," will be on the sidelines every game to cheer on the Commanders with the crowd.

Native American leaders have been critical of the new mascot. "Commanders is vague enough to be inoffensive, but this mascot makes everything worse. Custer was famous for reveling in the slaughter of native tribes," said Chief Rolling Hamster. "I'd prefer they call themselves the Redskins at this point."

Notable Indigenous Person Elizabeth Warren also expressed her disgust. "That you would parade a white man mascot around instead of a Native American is abhorrent. Are you saying Native Americans can't be commanders? I'm tired of rich white people making these decisions!" she lamented from her mansion in Cambridge.

According to sources, fans in and around the nation's capital just want to enjoy some football for once in their lives.


TOPICS: Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: babylon; commanders; redskins; satire
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To: servo1969

Comedy song hit by Ray Stevens

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3rAPb3EMUk


21 posted on 02/03/2022 11:18:00 AM PST by frank ballenger (You have summoned up a thundercloud. You're gonna hear from me. Anthem by Leonard Cohen)
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To: ETCM

Seems like the Bee is reeling in a bunch with this one.


22 posted on 02/03/2022 11:18:01 AM PST by jjotto ( Blessed are You LORD, who crushes enemies and subdues the wicked.)
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To: servo1969

The Washington COmmanders will become a laughingstock as soon as “The Washington Commies” takes hold...give it a day or two.


23 posted on 02/03/2022 11:19:11 AM PST by bigbob
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To: Seruzawa

So Lee surrendered at Appomattox because of a ‘incompetent General’?


24 posted on 02/03/2022 11:21:24 AM PST by Pikachu_Dad ("the media are selling you a line of soap)
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To: x

Custer was very good at goning forwrd to a fight - charging !
He wasn’t so good at thinking ‘Is this the right time to do it?’.


25 posted on 02/03/2022 11:21:42 AM PST by Reily
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To: Seruzawa
Custer was an odd duck.

He always over estimated his troops and underestimated his opponents.

Which means that he won when he should have lost because his opponent would always go, what the heck, he is attacking! Must mean he has more troops then we thought. Retreat!

Does not work so well when you are facing troops who vastly outnumber you and know the ground.

26 posted on 02/03/2022 11:22:49 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (add a dab of lavender in milk, leave town with an orange and pretend you're laughing with it)
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To: servo1969

Inflaming Native Americans??


27 posted on 02/03/2022 11:23:07 AM PST by SkyDancer ( I make airplanes fly, what's your super power?)
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To: Pikachu_Dad

You’re saying that the South was defeated by Custer?


28 posted on 02/03/2022 11:26:28 AM PST by Seruzawa ("The Political left is the Garden of Eden of incompetence" - Marx the Smarter (Groucho))
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To: servo1969

Might as well name them the Commodores, after a computer that was popular the last time they won.


29 posted on 02/03/2022 11:30:00 AM PST by rfp1234 (Comitia asinorum et rhinocerum delenda sunt.)
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To: servo1969

I love that the Redsk... I mean Washington Commies organization is so inept that it seems most here immediately accepted this satire as legit news. From that band of dopes it’s believable.


30 posted on 02/03/2022 11:34:25 AM PST by pepsi_junkie (Often wrong, but never in doubt!)
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To: servo1969
"That's incredible Commander!"
"Quite."


31 posted on 02/03/2022 11:40:54 AM PST by dead (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_vFiUUcBkc)
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To: Seruzawa

The who? Who is this ‘South’ ?

Custer defeated the traitorous democrats.


32 posted on 02/03/2022 11:53:43 AM PST by Pikachu_Dad ("the media are selling you a line of soap)
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To: I-ambush

I would vote for the WC logo.

After all I have been calling them the WTF for a while now.


33 posted on 02/03/2022 11:53:53 AM PST by texas booster (Join FreeRepublic's Folding@Home team (Team # 36120) Cure Alzheimer's!)
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To: servo1969

really, loser Custer?


34 posted on 02/03/2022 11:56:20 AM PST by yldstrk (Bingo! We have a winner!)
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To: servo1969

The best movie about Custer is Son of the Morning Star. Great music soundtrack too. His wife Libby never remarried. She spent her years defending her husband.


35 posted on 02/03/2022 12:11:52 PM PST by willk (O)
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To: servo1969

Consider the source...


36 posted on 02/03/2022 12:12:56 PM PST by JimRed (TERM LIMITS, NOW! Militia to the border! TRUTH is the new HATE SPEECH.)
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To: servo1969

Ooooh sizzle...slam dunk! :p


37 posted on 02/03/2022 12:13:33 PM PST by Irenic
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To: dead

“Have I ever told you of my exploits as a life guard in the 1960’s and my encounter with a ruffian who went by the nom-de-guerre of ‘Corn Pop’?”

“Why, no, Commander, I don’t believe I’ve ever heard...”

“Really?!? Well...! Let me begin by informing you first that Corn Pop was, in the parlance of the local youths in those days, a ‘bad dude’...”


38 posted on 02/03/2022 12:23:39 PM PST by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: I-ambush

Then, when the team is having a bad year, we can say they are in the sh*tter. In fact, that is what they should name thier stadium.


39 posted on 02/03/2022 12:32:55 PM PST by RainMan (Democrats ... making war against America since April 12, 1861)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear
Does not work so well when you are facing troops who vastly outnumber you and know the ground.

Also, troops who won't retreat for any reason because their families are in a vulnerable position.

40 posted on 02/03/2022 1:10:48 PM PST by CommerceComet ("You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case, the government forgets the first." Rush Limbaugh )
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