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Rioters Flee In Terror As Kyle Rittenhouse Emerges From Courthouse With AR-15
Babylon Bee ^ | 11/19/21

Posted on 11/19/2021 11:21:46 AM PST by Pollard

KENOSHA, WI—As the Rittenhouse trial drew to a close, Antifa rioters were preparing their violent destruction of the city. But their plans were quickly foiled as Rittenhouse emerged from the courthouse a free man, AR-15 in hand.

"The jig is up! Scatter!" cried the terrified commie waifs as they skittered toward shadowy alleyways like cockroaches. "The Rittenhouse has returned! Judgment is upon us! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Rittenhouse then appeared to descend the courthouse steps in slow motion, surrounded by a flock of doves and a heavenly golden light. At the terrifying sight, hundreds of Antifa fairies and murderous pedophiles shrieked in terror like a den of goblins, crawling into various holes and cracks in the earth.

"Waaaaaaaaa!" Cried the prosecuting attorneys, knowing their career was over forever. "We're ruined! Ruined by the unstoppable power of Kyle Rittenhouse!"

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2ndamendment; alecbaldwin; babylonbee; banglist; halynahutchins; illinois; joelsouza; kenosha; kylerittenhouse; notfunny; nra; rust; secondamendment; stmichaelprotectkyle; veryfunny; wisconsin; yesitisfunny
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To: Perseverando

21 posted on 11/19/2021 11:39:23 AM PST by redcatcherb412
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To: bigbob
In all seriousness, I hope they’ve got a damn good plan to keep him safe now.

He's still got 2/3 of a magazine left

22 posted on 11/19/2021 11:40:25 AM PST by Pollard (PureBlood -- youtube.com/watch?v=VXm0fkDituE)
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To: dfwgator

The last paragraph made me laugh out loud.

“Sources say that once Rittenhouse has completed his task of purging the land of evil and wickedness, he will return home to his mother, who confirmed he is grounded for a week.”


23 posted on 11/19/2021 11:40:40 AM PST by Qui is (Biden spews and Harris swallows.)
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To: Pollard

H’mmm, photo shows him with several M-79 “blooper” rounds on his lower ammo belt, but his M-16, doesn’t have the launcher for them.


24 posted on 11/19/2021 11:40:46 AM PST by GreyFriar (Spearhead - 3rd Armored Division 75-78 & 83-87)
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To: Pollard

Conservatives have a sense of humor.

Socialists, on the other hand, have a universal sense of terminal outrage.


25 posted on 11/19/2021 11:46:59 AM PST by BrexitBen
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To: Pollard

In the pic, Rittenhouse is carrying rounds for either a M203 or M320 yet his AR has neither attached.


26 posted on 11/19/2021 11:48:41 AM PST by Deaf Smith (When a Texan takes his chances, chances will be taken t hat's for sure.)
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To: Pollard

If only...


27 posted on 11/19/2021 11:48:43 AM PST by captain_dave
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To: Pollard; hellinahandcart

That photo is priceless!


28 posted on 11/19/2021 11:54:44 AM PST by sauropod (Meanie Butt Daddy - No you can't)
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To: Pollard

Best damn parody news site ever.


29 posted on 11/19/2021 11:55:28 AM PST by bhl
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To: Pollard
"...the terrified commie waifs as they skittered toward shadowy alleyways like cockroaches."

May it be so.

30 posted on 11/19/2021 11:55:51 AM PST by Psalm 73 ("You'll never hear surf music again" - J. Hendrix)
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To: Pollard

Wokies are brokies.

Good one Bee!


31 posted on 11/19/2021 11:59:25 AM PST by Boomer (Leftism is a mental illness wrapped in a perverse ideology resulting in insanity. FJB)
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To: Pollard

In all seriousness, I hope they’ve got a damn good plan to keep him safe now.
~~~
He’s still got 2/3 of a magazine left
~~~
HAHAHA Oh dear


32 posted on 11/19/2021 12:01:38 PM PST by z3n (“If the populace knew with what idiocy they were ruled, they would revolt.” -Charlemagne)
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To: Pollard

SUPA-Kyle! :)


33 posted on 11/19/2021 12:02:56 PM PST by griffin
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To: Pollard
LOL!


34 posted on 11/19/2021 12:03:27 PM PST by DannyTN
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7.62 milimeter Full Metal Jacket!


35 posted on 11/19/2021 12:14:37 PM PST by dsrtsage ( Complexity is just simple lacking imaginationd)
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To: dsrtsage

“This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. ... My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.”


36 posted on 11/19/2021 12:15:33 PM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Pollard

The only thing I would love more than this would be if it was reality instead of satire.


37 posted on 11/19/2021 12:19:37 PM PST by Valpal1
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To: Pollard

Would have been better if it were a Gatling gun.


38 posted on 11/19/2021 1:09:28 PM PST by 2CAVTrooper (One Nation, Under Fraud Completely Visible, With Spying and Lying Too All.)
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To: Pollard
He's still got 2/3 of a magazine left

Based on demonstrated performance, that's enough for four more pedophiles and/or thugs who beat women. He needs to carry at least a couple spare magazines in the future.

39 posted on 11/19/2021 1:37:20 PM PST by Pollster1 (America is no longer in Claire Wolfe's "awkward stage")
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To: Pollard

This is a really well done article. Congratulations, SB.


40 posted on 11/19/2021 3:04:27 PM PST by AFPhys ((Liberalism is what Smart looks like to Stupid people - ® - Mia of KC. Rush - 1:50-8/21/15))
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