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Kaepernick Sad That No Slave Owner Will Enslave Him No Matter How Many Times He Tries Out To Be A Slave
BabylonBee.com ^ | 11-1-2021 | BabylonBee.com

Posted on 11/02/2021 4:06:07 AM PDT by servo1969

NEW YORK, NY—In his new six-episode limited series on Netflix, Colin Kaepernick proudly proclaimed that no NFL slave owner will ever enslave him no matter how many times he tries out to be a slave. After being emancipated from his former owner the San Francisco 49ers in 2016, Kaepernick has worked tirelessly to become a slave again.

"I try out for NFL slavery every year, and they keep rejecting me. The NFL is oppressive, and it's also oppressive that they refuse to oppress me," he said.

In May 2017, he visited the brutal Seattle Seahawks Plantation hoping to become a slave there but unfortunately left training camp with his liberty and independence still intact. Kaepernick then visited the infamous Baltimore Ravens, some of the cruelest slave-drivers in the country, but they too declined to take away his rights and place him in bondage. Finally, in a last-ditch effort, Kaepernick arranged his own private slave auction of himself in Atlanta where he demonstrated his proficiency as a slave for 32 potential owners. Ultimately, he remained unable to find a buyer for himself.

“I’m tired of these rich White men oppressing me by opting not to oppress me,” a heartbroken Kaepernick declared. Sadly, to this day, Colin Kaepernick, a quarterback some refer to as “The MOAT” (Mediocre-est of All-Time), still remains free and liberated.


TOPICS: Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; kaepernick; netflix; nfl; nike; satire; slave
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To: servo1969

The dude is insane.


21 posted on 11/02/2021 5:41:00 AM PDT by GrandJediMasterYoda (As long as Hillary Clinton remains free equal justice under the law will never exist in the USA)
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To: GrandJediMasterYoda
The dude is insane.

Nobody would know his name if it wasn't for the constant corrupt media coverage.

22 posted on 11/02/2021 5:42:35 AM PDT by 1Old Pro (Let's make crime illegal again!)
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To: servo1969

Applauding the Bee!


23 posted on 11/02/2021 5:43:31 AM PDT by silverleaf (“Freedom ultimately means the right of other people to do things that you disagree with”. T. Sowell )
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To: sevinufnine

His self loathing for his white half no doubt kept him from being the mediocre professional athlete he could have been.

As it is he was horribly bad. Evidence? Watch his last season (what there was of it), especially the last game.


24 posted on 11/02/2021 5:44:53 AM PDT by jdsteel ("A Republic, Madam, if you can keep it." Sorry Ben, looks like we blew it.)
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To: servo1969
This ungrateful jerk-off has devolved from a wannabe negro to a wannabe slave. To me, his ingratitude coupled with his buckwheat "do" says all I need to know about his character ... and he is a "character" (but not in a good way).
25 posted on 11/02/2021 5:48:59 AM PDT by glennaro (Although I don't believe there are big conspiracies, neither do I believe there are big coincidences)
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To: servo1969

26 posted on 11/02/2021 6:47:30 AM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: V_TWIN
In all fairness I think he had a little help from his Blm girlfriend

bingo, Kaepernick has been enslaved, mentally, by his black, activist GF. He is also being used by the left to attack the NFL. The left don't like any sports, especially pro sports, and are jealous of all the attention and money athletes and sports teams get.

27 posted on 11/02/2021 7:03:04 AM PDT by ghost of nixon
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To: servo1969

Nobody wants an overly tattooed, rabble rousing, you know what, who is now old and out of shape to pollute their roster.

His black life as a football player don’t matter


28 posted on 11/02/2021 7:05:43 AM PDT by bert ( (KE. NP. N.C. +12) Like BLM, Joe Biden is a Domestic Enemy )
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To: servo1969

You took the money though....so that tells me what you are.


29 posted on 11/02/2021 7:08:01 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: servo1969

“Follow the drinking gourd” and take the underground railroad (or Amtrak) to Canada and freedom, along with one tenth the salary, in the CFL.


30 posted on 11/02/2021 7:34:27 AM PDT by KarlInOhio ("Anti-fascist" is from the official name of the Berlin Wall: Anti-fascist Protection Barrier.)
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“Better to be ignorant, than misinformed” - Thomas Jefferson

YOU, mr fap-yer-dick, have been GROSSLY misinformed.


31 posted on 11/05/2021 11:45:56 AM PDT by PhineasSpear (PhineasSpear)
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