Posted on 10/12/2021 5:29:41 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WASHINGTON, D.C.—America collectively breathed a sigh of relief today as Dr. Fauci announced he was giving everyone permission to go trick or treating this year.
"I must clarify one thing, though—and let me be perfectly clear while I clarify one small point in order to make it clear for everyone, as clearly as I possibly can," said Fauci. "If your child is unvaccinated, he should NOT be given any of the good candy. No Reese's or Snickers or any of that. Candy Corn only. That's it."
Beloved NBC anchor Chuck Todd responded to Fauci's recommendation and asked for clarification. "So you mean to say they can ONLY get candy corn? Nothing else?"
"Well, maybe they can have an apple or a carrot or a toothbrush," Fauci replied. "If an unvaccinated kid is given the good candy, they may forget their proper station as unvaxxed second-class citizens. And watch out for... THE DROPLETS!" Fauci then shrieked and jumped out a nearby window, as it had been a stressful day.
The CDC confirmed Dr. Fauci's recommendations, before later reversing them due to public outcry, and also due to Fauci changing his mind again.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
I like candy corn.
If I could talk to myself at that age, I'd tell myself to ditch the candy and only take that. But I probably wouldn't listen.
I would expect a rock.
Fauci’s demonstrated idiocy may exceed even the B’s ability to make fun of that administrative clown. Even their talented staff is finding it hard to make up something so stupid that the codger couldn’t possibly outdo it. But, old one-cell manages to rise above (or is it sink below) anything.
We need an “Eff Fauci” chant at any publicly attended gubmit medical meeting.
Things are so crazy I’ve been thinking of buying some. Those pumpkin things, too.
“Let’s go, Fauci!” (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)
Mixed with peanuts.
Downright addictive.
You know that's next. Might take another month or so, but it's coming.
I love the stuff, It’s often hard and a bit stale though.
If u pop in into a microwave for a few seconds tho...
Also fond of those orange circus peanuts.
That was always my favorite, as long as it was fresh and chewy. Once it dried out it was pretty awful to eat even though it still tasted okay.
As a kid I used to trade my "better" candy things for candy corn and binge.
I'm 69, and if I could get away with bingeing on it today, I would.
I hope Fauxci’s car gets egged and floured and his yard gets rolled.
Nope, no way. You can have my lifetime's full load of those things.
I'll trade you for some candy corn, though.... :-)
We're talking turning his property into homemade pasta, correct?
There used to be these little 2 for a penny candies that tasted like a miniature Butterfinger, I loved those...had stripes on them.
And there was a 3 cent chocolate candy called Ice Cubes that were awesome!
Well, he is Italian.
I used to hate popcorn balls the worst.
My mom gave out pennies when we ran out of candy - but that was back in the day when a penny got you a decent piece of candy at the local store.
Ha ha! I’m reading this all as I am suffering a candy corn sugar hangover. Blehhhh...
Me too.
I also am a fan of the Bee.
Just hand out fresh clean masks.
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