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Biden: 'We Can Return To Normal When 3.5 Trillion Americans Have Been Vaccinated'
The Babylon Bee ^ | September 28, 2021 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 09/29/2021 5:55:44 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

WASHINGTON, D.C.—During his booster shot ceremony Monday, President Biden was ordered to stop taking questions by a man holding a shepherd's crook just behind the curtain. But Biden disregarded the order and answered one question from a reporter who asked when we could get back to normal.

"We'll be back to normal when, heck, I don't know, third—three... three point... three point five million billiion trillion, uh, 3.5 trillion people are vaccinated," Biden said as the doctor leaned in to give him his booster shot. He suddenly appeared much more lucid. "Say, that's a great head of hair, lady. Herbal Essences Coconut Water and Jasmine? I'd know that scent anywhere. Introduced in their Spring Collection a few years back. What are you doing later? Want to come back to my basement? They bring me ice cream."

At publishing time, Jen Psaki had clarified that Biden actually said that we can get back to normal when N+1 people are vaccinated, where N is whatever the current population of the United States is at the time.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; booster; covid19; injection; jenpsaki; returntonormal; satire; vaccine
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1 posted on 09/29/2021 5:55:44 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Ummm-mmmm.....2020 We can return to normal once we bend the curve


2 posted on 09/29/2021 5:57:57 PM PDT by caww ( )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I wish they would quote Biden correctly.

“We Can Return Back To Normal When 3.5 Trillion People Have Been Vacationed”


3 posted on 09/29/2021 5:59:12 PM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer”)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

That’s the same number of Americans killed by Gun Violence. Can’t be a coincidence.


4 posted on 09/29/2021 5:59:24 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I guess I should start procreating with all possible speed.


5 posted on 09/29/2021 6:09:21 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
BidAn getting the booster, Scene 3, Take 1.


6 posted on 09/29/2021 6:10:35 PM PDT by C210N (Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks; bitt; SkyDancer; DarthVader; fieldmarshaldj; Albion Wilde; ...

Biden: “We can return to normal when we’ve killed them all off and we’re the only ones left.”


7 posted on 09/29/2021 6:16:34 PM PDT by ExTexasRedhead
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

We need to start cloning humans immediately.


8 posted on 09/29/2021 6:17:18 PM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

GFYS! How about that, beeyotch?


9 posted on 09/29/2021 6:18:40 PM PDT by Puppage (You may disagree with what I have to say, but I shall defend to your death my right to says it.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Clue.....Bzzzzzz


10 posted on 09/29/2021 6:18:52 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: C210N

Since when did the White House become a sound stage?

Everything about this administration is fake, and they’re not even hiding it.


11 posted on 09/29/2021 6:19:02 PM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Dig up the corpses and vaxx them—they voted for this!


12 posted on 09/29/2021 6:19:14 PM PDT by cgbg (A kleptocracy--if they can keep it. Think of it as the Cantillon Effect in action.)
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To: C210N

I assume this is in a basement. He likes basements.


13 posted on 09/29/2021 6:19:38 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: Disambiguator

This is a mock up of the WH in his basement in Deleware. There is another one of the Oval Office and even a fake Rose Garden.


14 posted on 09/29/2021 6:23:22 PM PDT by Gary from Dayton
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To: Gary from Dayton

I’m not sure Biden is Biden.


15 posted on 09/29/2021 6:26:49 PM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Dang, the borer situation is REALLY out of control. B-)


16 posted on 09/29/2021 6:28:14 PM PDT by MrLucky1966 (GOVT.SYS CORRUPTED! RUN GUN.COM? (Y/Y) GUN.COM NOT FOUND, EXECUTE BASEBALL.BAT? (Y/Y))
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To: MrLucky1966

borer=border


17 posted on 09/29/2021 6:29:09 PM PDT by MrLucky1966 (GOVT.SYS CORRUPTED! RUN GUN.COM? (Y/Y) GUN.COM NOT FOUND, EXECUTE BASEBALL.BAT? (Y/Y))
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
At publishing time, Jen Psaki had clarified that Biden actually said that we can get back to normal when N+1 people are vaccinated, where N is whatever the current population of the United States is at the time.

And the Bee hits it out of the ballpark again.

18 posted on 09/29/2021 6:29:12 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

“During his booster shot ceremony Monday, ...”

More like “When he got the saline solution or B-12 shot”.


19 posted on 09/29/2021 6:49:16 PM PDT by laplata
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

If half of the world moves here and Sleepy Joe vaccinates all of them, then we will be back to normal.
That’s probably why he tries to keep the border open!


20 posted on 09/29/2021 8:15:02 PM PDT by AZJeep (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0AHGreco RomNQkryIIs)
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