Posted on 06/27/2021 4:15:46 PM PDT by BipolarBob
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After Catholic bishops stirred bitter controversy this week by asking people to repent of murder, Father Brian Shannon has offered President Biden a tasty compromise: replacing the Eucharist with a ‘Nilla wafer.
“While as Catholics we must object to unifying the body, soul and divinity of Christ to someone who is unrepentant in their support of murder, we fully support President Biden’s right to enjoy a vanilla wafer,” said Father Shannon. “Now can a vanilla wafer undergo transubstantiation? Really getting into the metaphysical weeds here, but to be safe we’ll leave them off the altar until Joe comes up and pull the ol’ switcheroo.”
President Biden has reportedly been outraged over a movement to deny him the eucharist, claiming that he does not personally support murder, but simply supports women’s access to murder. He also supports forcing the public to pay for murder, and wants to eliminate tax dollars going to crisis pregnancy centers that offer alternatives to murder – but to be clear, once again, he does not like murder.
Sources say that President Biden has yet to notice the change, but did remark that Communion has been extra tasty lately and always gives him a hankering for milk.
When I was young..in the 50's we played priest..communion was NECCO wafers.
Biden’s getting away with Catholic votes and abortion supporter votes. Best of both worlds.
The good life-——except for the innocent babies slaughtered.
So funny! Biden can bring some fruit and pudding with him and have nanner puddin’ at church.
Can he have some pudding with that ‘nilla wafer?
Give him COOKIE! And chocolate moo.
 "Gone Crackers" |
Nilla wafer and a PuddinPop.
Will they put the wine in a sippy cup?
But you're not getting another penny from me.
Nothing is off limits to The Bee.
It’s the Babylon Bee.
You can't buy your way into Heaven with that attitude.
The Bee.
Will Biteme get warm milk instead of wine?
5.56mm
Give him fruit punch too. A nice juicy Hawaiian Punch.
I”m holding out for Ranch Flavored Doritos!
Dionne sings the updated version of her old hit:
“You’ll Never Get To Heaven With That Barley Malt!”
I admit, that is funny.
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