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CDC Officials Recommend People Stop Giving Them Wedgies
The Babylon Bee ^ | April 27, 2021 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 04/28/2021 9:11:52 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

ATLANTA, GA—CDC officials have released official guidelines and recommendations for activity during the pandemic. At the top of the list is a request for people to stop giving them wedgies every time they pass them on the street.

"You all need to stop this immature behavior right now!" said CDC official Mortimer Herbie Jr. as he adjusted his glasses and retainer. "Also, stop shoving us in lockers and giving us swirlies and grabbing us by our ankles and shaking us upside down until our lunch money falls out! This is NOT cool you guys!"

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Computers/Internet; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous; Science; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; cdc; covid19; dorks; dweebs; geeks; masks; nerds; pranks; satire; scientists; socialdistancing

1 posted on 04/28/2021 9:11:52 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: 100American; al baby; Allegra; BufordP; dp0622; EveningStar; Gefn; GunsareOK; JRios1968; ...

Poor babies.

DANG!


2 posted on 04/28/2021 9:12:56 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (GOP-free since 10/9/20)
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To: Lazamataz

Ping . . .


3 posted on 04/28/2021 9:15:02 AM PDT by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: All

This is good advice. If everyone would follow this, it would be a kinder more embracing world. oops, I didn’t mean embracing because that violates social distancing guidelines. yeah, but you know what I mean. if confused just ask yourself, what would Dr. Fauci want you to do.


4 posted on 04/28/2021 9:15:39 AM PDT by BipolarBob (Jeffrey Epsteins last words "I am not committing suicide".)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

5 posted on 04/28/2021 9:15:59 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Can we give all the elected Democrats wedgies instead?


6 posted on 04/28/2021 9:33:46 AM PDT by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
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To: BipolarBob

We can maintain social distancing by using gallows designed to inflict wedgies.

Instead of a noose we could use reinforced suspenders with rare earth magnet clamps to secure their undies.

Only need a foot or so drop to secure maximum wedgie.


7 posted on 04/28/2021 9:38:25 AM PDT by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Personally I think All CDC and Other Health Officials that have handed down these dictates need protecting from this Virus, and they should All be Rounded Up and QUARANTINED in Strict Isolation until this Pandemic is Over.


8 posted on 04/28/2021 9:59:31 AM PDT by eyeamok (founded in cynicism, wrapped in sarcasm)
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To: All

no. i mean, yes! really, though, no.


9 posted on 04/28/2021 10:04:11 AM PDT by SteveH
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Bwahahahaha! Gotta love the Bee.


10 posted on 04/28/2021 10:12:37 AM PDT by Allegra
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

One wedgie won’t protect them from the disease. Double wedgies. Because Science.


11 posted on 04/28/2021 10:16:56 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I always thought swirlies were done to brainwash people with wrong thoughts.
12 posted on 04/28/2021 10:23:21 AM PDT by asinclair (Political hot air is a renewable energy resource)
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