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Playskool Releases 'My First Knife Fight' Playset (Babylon bee)
The Babylon Bee ^
| April 26, 2021
Posted on 04/26/2021 12:19:39 PM PDT by Yo-Yo
PAWTUCKET, RI—Hasbro announced today an exciting new playset for kids and little innocent babies: "My First Knife Fight," to be released under its Playskool brand aimed at toddlers.
The playset features real shivs kids can use to stab each other in an innocent street fight. Including a variety of knives, from makeshift shivs made out of toothbrushes and razor blades to switchblades and kitchen knives, the playset is designed to entertain kids of all ages.
"Raise your kids right with My First Knife Fight!" says the voiceover in a new commercial for the product. "As everyone knows, all sweet and innocent children love to stab each other in a good old-fashioned knife fight. Make sure your kids have a leg up on the competition with our premium playset -- you don't want your innocent little baby on the wrong side of a butterfly knife!"
"Get My First Knife Fight today, wherever great toys for sweet precious little babies are sold!"
According to Hasbro, the playset is already wildly popular and has caused no actual violence, just innocent kids stabbing each other on playgrounds a lot "in good clean knife fighting fun."
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylon; babylonbee; bee
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Get one for your 'Tween today!
1
posted on
04/26/2021 12:19:39 PM PDT
by
Yo-Yo
To: Yo-Yo
Folks been killin’ each uvver for eons wif knives. Way before them evil guns was printed on 3d printers.
2
posted on
04/26/2021 12:25:57 PM PDT
by
rktman
(Destroy America from within? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this?)
This will be as popular as shoot em up elmo
3
posted on
04/26/2021 12:27:03 PM PDT
by
dsrtsage
(Complexity is merely simplicity lacking imagination)
To: Yo-Yo
Being stabbed with a knife scares me.
Being shot with an arrow scares me more.
4
posted on
04/26/2021 12:27:05 PM PDT
by
Fido969
( Sc)
To: Yo-Yo
okay... i needed to burst out laughing at least once today. This did the trick!
To: Yo-Yo
The scary part is that this probably goes right over their heads.
To: Yo-Yo
Oh, that’s a good one, Bee!
7
posted on
04/26/2021 1:09:22 PM PDT
by
SaxxonWoods
(Any comment might be sarcasm, or not. It depends. Often I'm not sure either.)
To: Yo-Yo
Soon to be released, “My First Justified Homicide’ Playset. Comes with a gun and you get to decide which of the perps playing with the My First Knife Fight’ goes down.
8
posted on
04/26/2021 1:11:58 PM PDT
by
Pilgrim's Progress
(http://www.baptistbiblebelievers.com/BYTOPICS/tabid/335/Default.aspx D)
To: Yo-Yo
Irwin approves!
9
posted on
04/26/2021 1:13:17 PM PDT
by
dfwgator
(Endut! Hoch Hech!)
To: Yo-Yo
Masterpiece. Still chuckling.
To: dfwgator
“It’s a great toy, the kids love it!”
To: Yo-Yo
Yeah Bee!
12
posted on
04/26/2021 1:17:43 PM PDT
by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
To: dfwgator
Train the pillow defense technique...
13
posted on
04/26/2021 1:19:10 PM PDT
by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
To: Yo-Yo
I'll take the My Little Pony version.
14
posted on
04/26/2021 1:19:10 PM PDT
by
CtBigPat
(The period of Crisis is ending. Now comes Normalization.)
To: Yo-Yo
Hasbro You mean Wasbro...
15
posted on
04/26/2021 1:23:18 PM PDT
by
OrangeHoof
(Chinese communism will look different once the masks come off.)
To: Fido969
Women wielding knives scares me too
16
posted on
04/26/2021 1:28:45 PM PDT
by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
To: rktman
How to avoid a knife fight...
17
posted on
04/26/2021 1:30:08 PM PDT
by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
To: Magnum44
Seems like that’s what obxxx suggested IIRC. 🔫🔪🔔
18
posted on
04/26/2021 1:35:56 PM PDT
by
rktman
(Destroy America from within? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this?)
To: Yo-Yo
I posted once about shivs and was surprised by the number of Freepers who lectured me on the difference between a shiv and a shank.
On the garden thread.
19
posted on
04/26/2021 1:36:58 PM PDT
by
blueunicorn6
("A crack shot and a good dancer”)
To: Yo-Yo
Us older FReepers can remember when The Bee did satire.
20
posted on
04/26/2021 1:47:12 PM PDT
by
gitmo
(If your theology doesn't become your biography, what good is it?)
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