Posted on 03/20/2020 7:09:10 PM PDT by entropy12
1. Number every square on a roll. Hang a log book near the roll. Every person using paper from roll must record usage by numbers on roll. Identify the biggest users. Quarantine them for a day for each offense.
2. Visitors must bring their own. Remove yours before they go in. Organize a BYOTP party (bring your own toilet paper party)
3. Study your dogs' behaviour. They get by without toilet paper quite well.
4. Visit rest rooms in local shopping malls, fast food places. Check TP is available before you sit down. Steal as much as you can. Bad luck when it runs out, this is WAR!
5. Buy baby bum wipes. Clear the shelves!
6. Rest assured that if you are holed up, when your 4 weeks' worth of food runs out, your use of TP will decrease markedly. Most of your six months' worth of TP will go unused.
1. Putting used toilet paper in the washing machine to be able to reuse it. Makes a mess.
2. Visiting shops early in the day and loitering near the empty shelves in the hope they will be restocked soon.
3. Using paper towels as a substitute. They clog up the pipes.
Backyard + hose.
> 3. Study your dogs’ behaviour. They get by without toilet paper quite well.
Dogs can lick their own bum. And LIKE it!
Go out in the back yard and hose off.
Hilarious!
Sears Roebuck catalog?
Saw a post the other day from a wastewater guy. As far as he’s concerned, there is no such thing as a “flushable” wipe, they all just exist to clog pumps. You DO pay for that in the rates, it isn’t “free”.
I actually got a small Yellow Pages out at the curb the other day. Surprised the heck out of me! Instead of throwing it on the recycle stack, I’m keeping it around for a bit in case of extreme need. I don’t expect to need it.
There are pump action sprayers available that will easily double as a bidet if needed. Just don’t spray Roundup or Spectracide up your butt. That’s probably not a good thing to do.
“Backyard + hose.”
An Arkansas bidet.
Go through your sock drawer get all the ones that are worn,loose fit,have a hole or are just old. Get a matching number of plastic grocery bags. Put the bag on first like a glove then the sock. Wallah ! You get one more use out of an old sock.
For those who haven’t figured it out by now I’m joking.
4.shit less
A rag, soap and water.
Hang yer butt over the edge of the tub and use the shower sprayer
Just wait till the water systems go down. You ain’t seen nothing yet.
I solved this problem years ago on a survival forum for apartment dwellers. Poop in a plastic sack. Built a small catapult and shoot the sack out a window.
Wiping your butt in the grass like your dog will probably alienate the neighbors. BONUS! Social distancing problem solved. Lawn dirty? Mow it, problem solved. Not thing but a sidewalk due to lack of yard? It’s ok, hemroids gone. Problem solved.
Do NOT flush the wipes.
Granny rags.
The kid that I hired to clean the poop up in my yard got mad at me and quit. He finally found out that I don’t have a dog.
Butt washer toilet attachment. Water cold, unless you get the upscale version.
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