Skip to comments.Hillary Clinton Says Epstein Assassination Was To 'Manage Anxiety'
Posted on 03/10/2020 2:52:54 PM PDT by xp38
CHAPPAQUA, NYIn a recent interview from her wine cellar this week, Hillary Clinton revealed some of her favorite methods for dealing with stress. "Being the president is an extremely stressful job," she told reporters. "Since I am the president, I have to deal with anxiety on a regular basis. One way to calm my nerves is with a good, old-fashioned assassination. Of course, I would never do such a thing, but If I did do something like, say, killing Jeffery Epstein, it would be a great way to cope with the demands of my very important job. Ok, I killed Epstein. I needed to do it to manage my anxieties. I feel bad about it. HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Hillary bemoaned the fact that since she isn't allowed in the White House or situation room for some reason, she no longer has access to handy tools like drones or Treadstone super-soldiers. "Sometimes," she said, "I have to settle for watching that prison assassination scene from Breaking Bad over a bottle of wine! Can you imagine? HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Let it be known that The Babylon Bee proudly supports everything Hillary Clinton does and we are glad she is our president. She is a wonderful leader and we would never do anything to ever upset her in any way. We are also not suicidal.
I wonder if Vince Foster’s death helped alleviate her anxiety too?!
No doubt. In those days even Waco wasn’t enough to sooth her.
The BB also might say that people are committing suicide because they’re afraid of dying from the C-virus.
Why is it so easy for me to see Broomhillary sitting in an expansive basement wine cellar, with nothing but a glass-top bistro table and four wrought iron chairs in the center of the room under a wine glass rack? LOL
That stung. The Libyan International War Criminal Princess DOES NOT CARE about ANYBODY’S life unless it serves her multi-purpose agendas.
R.I.P. families and friends of Doherty, Smith, Stevens and Wood among a few.
The most EVIL administration in the history of this fabulous republic. The ARROGANT CONstitutional charter of negative liberties scholar and the ARROGANT International Extortionist/Kickback schemer urinating on hard-working Americans well-intentioned foreign aide.
(and I didnt even have to mention Hillary)
BUT I DID. #seesomethingsaysomething
She drinks New Zealand Chardonnay out of a box. Wakes up every morning, stuck to the kitchen floor by her dried vomit, as the SS Detail gets her unstuck and cleaned-up.
Thanks for not putting sarcasm in the title. It’s more fun that way!!!
Thank you, Jesus!
We are also not suicidal.
Poor Babylon Bee. They just dont know that a tidal wave of suicidal angst can just wash over you one day and you find yourself dead. By a bullet wound. In the back of the head. Suicide, so sudden and sad no one would have expected it.
A good old fashioned case of Arkancide.
Love the disclaimer at the end.
You forgot Mr. Bigglesworth and the sharks with frickin laser beams. Greta Thunberg may pop up as a Mini-Me. Bwa ha ha...
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