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We Wish There Were Some Kind Of Organized, Armed Force That Could Fight Back Against Antifa
Babylon Bee ^ | 8/20/2019 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/20/2019 3:59:45 PM PDT by BipolarBob

PORTLAND, OR—In a press release earlier this week, Portland police chief Danielle Outlaw (her actual name), appearing somber and exhausted, said she just wishes there were some kind of group with the firepower and authority to fight back against Antifa.

In a candid moment, Outlaw (seriously, her actual name) said there was just nothing the police could do, as they'd need to have some kind of organized, armed force specifically created to protect and serve the people.

"Like, what if we took money from everyone to fund a force that could then defend them in a time of need?" she pondered aloud. "They could have patrol cars, firearms, and attack dogs. Maybe even some tanks. That would be so frickin' rad. They could have a badge to show their authority. Then, when a rogue group like Antifa shows up to take over our city every weekend, they could be repelled using force if necessary."

"I know it sounds crazy, but a girl can dream, right?" she added wistfully.

Sadly, there is no such force in Portland, so citizens have been forced to turn to an even crazier idea: taking responsibility for their own safety and well-being, and maybe even buying a gun to protect themselves.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Humor; Local News
KEYWORDS: antifa; babylonbee; satire
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To: SauronOfMordor

The problem is, Antifa appears to be the enforcement arm of the Democrat Party, and enjoys full protection in any Democrat controlled area.
********************
The National Guard can’t be called up and marshall law imposed, simply because the state government is controlled by the Dems, on whose behalf Antifa acts.


61 posted on 08/20/2019 5:33:17 PM PDT by Yulee
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To: BipolarBob

Sheriff Joe Arpio and some Arizona Rangers.

Or Texas Rangers.

Or Louisiana rednecks.

that would work.


62 posted on 08/20/2019 5:34:13 PM PDT by Texas resident (Democrats=Enemy of People of The United States of America)
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To: Amendment10
Perhaps note satire in title.

Limited space. Taking too much space explaining satire then the title doesn't make sense. I don't make the rules on title length.

63 posted on 08/20/2019 5:34:41 PM PDT by BipolarBob (Heaven has gates, walls and immigration policy but Hell has an open border policy. Food for thought.)
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To: EvilCapitalist

Then Governor Reagan also used the National Guard to take care of Berkeley protesters in 1969.
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Dem Governor in Oregon. Will never act against Antifa.


64 posted on 08/20/2019 5:35:04 PM PDT by Yulee
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To: BipolarBob

Hey everybody! It’s satire. Babylon Bee is satire and Soylent Green is people. pass it down.


65 posted on 08/20/2019 5:36:57 PM PDT by BipolarBob (Heaven has gates, walls and immigration policy but Hell has an open border policy. Food for thought.)
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To: BipolarBob

Everything that’s printed to fit.

CC


66 posted on 08/20/2019 5:44:09 PM PDT by Celtic Conservative (My cats are more amusing than 200 channels worth of TV)
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To: kaehurowing
And we know how that works 🤪🤪🤪
67 posted on 08/20/2019 6:13:27 PM PDT by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
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To: All

Is she saying we need an armed po life force?


68 posted on 08/20/2019 6:15:41 PM PDT by Retvet (Retvet)
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To: BipolarBob; All
Yes, there is a limit on title characters. The following is one approach to indicating satire, possibly too long.
"We Wish There Were Some Kind Of Organized, Armed Force That Could Fight Back Against Antifa [satire]"

69 posted on 08/20/2019 6:28:07 PM PDT by Amendment10
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To: BipolarBob

I the police should be able to control them, but they have a communis/nazi government, so the police hands are tied. The same thing happened in Germany in the early 1930s.


70 posted on 08/20/2019 7:08:43 PM PDT by tillacum (I am a conservative deplorable and doggone proud of it. I back President Trump, I voted for him.)
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To: Amendment10

Babble On bee is a satire site. Nuggets of truth in an obviously false narrative.


71 posted on 08/20/2019 8:18:25 PM PDT by Getready (Wisdom is more valuable than gold and diamonds, and harder to find.)
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To: BipolarBob

What aiuthority does Heddy LaMarr have?


72 posted on 08/20/2019 8:38:42 PM PDT by Rembrandt (-)
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To: Rembrandt

He is politically connected to the powerful Governor Lepetomane.


73 posted on 08/21/2019 2:05:28 AM PDT by BipolarBob (Heaven has gates, walls and immigration policy but Hell has an open border policy. Food for thought.)
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To: SauronOfMordor

uh, Gentleman (and Gentlewomen), let us not forget that one of the founding missions for the Antifa’s founding by billionaire sponsors (rhymes with Toros) was to provoke Patriots in violent responses then wait for the media to help shift public opinion enough to agree to disarm them and the rest of the citizenry. This plan has been unfurling for a long while and is near the finish line. CWII-like reaction means no second amendment anymore.
The restraint the right had shown is astonishing and smart. I’d much rather have a huge majoriry of constitutionally educated folks at home, well trained and stocked and push for much better public awareness of the safety and security of responsible gun owners than paramilitary units. Then the globalist cadres would see ys like the Classic Communists - a nation with a rifle behind every blade of grass. can’t hope to invade/control.


74 posted on 08/21/2019 3:33:13 AM PDT by epluribus_2 (He, had the best mom - ever.)
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To: BipolarBob

The Babylon Bee has boiled this whole farce down into a paragraph.

The police are powerless to enforce the actual - you know - laws against beating up political opponents.

Only in Seattle. With a Police Chief named Outlaw.


75 posted on 08/21/2019 3:39:05 AM PDT by MortMan (Americans are a people increasingly separated by our connectivity.)
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To: Migraine

You mean telegram .308?


76 posted on 08/21/2019 3:40:20 AM PDT by MortMan (Americans are a people increasingly separated by our connectivity.)
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To: MortMan

Telegram .308 is exactly what I mean.


77 posted on 08/21/2019 6:09:53 AM PDT by Migraine
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