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We Wish There Were Some Kind Of Organized, Armed Force That Could Fight Back Against Antifa
Babylon Bee ^ | 8/20/2019 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/20/2019 3:59:45 PM PDT by BipolarBob

PORTLAND, OR—In a press release earlier this week, Portland police chief Danielle Outlaw (her actual name), appearing somber and exhausted, said she just wishes there were some kind of group with the firepower and authority to fight back against Antifa.

In a candid moment, Outlaw (seriously, her actual name) said there was just nothing the police could do, as they'd need to have some kind of organized, armed force specifically created to protect and serve the people.

"Like, what if we took money from everyone to fund a force that could then defend them in a time of need?" she pondered aloud. "They could have patrol cars, firearms, and attack dogs. Maybe even some tanks. That would be so frickin' rad. They could have a badge to show their authority. Then, when a rogue group like Antifa shows up to take over our city every weekend, they could be repelled using force if necessary."

"I know it sounds crazy, but a girl can dream, right?" she added wistfully.

Sadly, there is no such force in Portland, so citizens have been forced to turn to an even crazier idea: taking responsibility for their own safety and well-being, and maybe even buying a gun to protect themselves.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Humor; Local News
KEYWORDS: antifa; babylonbee; satire
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This shows the desperation this town faces. It reminds me of the stand-off at Rock Ridge when the railroad was coming through and the dastardly Hedley Lamarr tried to overthrow the town. May they find a way through this.
1 posted on 08/20/2019 3:59:45 PM PDT by BipolarBob
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To: BipolarBob

It’s. The Bee

I love me The Bee


2 posted on 08/20/2019 4:00:50 PM PDT by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
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To: Nifster

The Most Trusted Name in News. -)


3 posted on 08/20/2019 4:01:59 PM PDT by BipolarBob (Heaven has gates, walls and immigration policy but Hell has an open border policy. Food for thought.)
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To: BipolarBob

4 posted on 08/20/2019 4:03:43 PM PDT by TADSLOS (You know why you can enjoy a day at the Zoo? Because walls work.)
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To: BipolarBob

I used to think such a force would have been the local Police Department. Apparently not. They are too compromised and short-leashed by far left mayors.


5 posted on 08/20/2019 4:04:01 PM PDT by lee martell
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To: BipolarBob

The problem is, Antifa appears to be the enforcement arm of the Democrat Party, and enjoys full protection in any Democrat controlled area.

Meanwhile, if YOU hurt an Antifa in self defense, expect to go to prison.


6 posted on 08/20/2019 4:04:17 PM PDT by SauronOfMordor (Socialists want YOUR wealth redistributed, never THEIRS!)
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To: BipolarBob

At the first sentence, I thought it was legit... Then, I knew it was the Bee.


7 posted on 08/20/2019 4:04:59 PM PDT by marktwain (President Trump and his supporters are the Resistance. His opponents are the Reactionaries.)
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To: BipolarBob

National Guard? They did it at Kent State, OH - killed some students.


8 posted on 08/20/2019 4:06:53 PM PDT by SkyDancer ( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
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To: Nifster

Snopes article “fact-checking” the Bee soon to come . . . .


9 posted on 08/20/2019 4:07:54 PM PDT by kaehurowing
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To: BipolarBob

I think the hell’s angels are with us conservatives on this.


10 posted on 08/20/2019 4:08:33 PM PDT by Mr. K (No consequence of repealing obamacare is worse than obamacare itself.)
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To: BipolarBob

Gotta love da B! I don’t think we should touch Auntie Fa-la-la; no, instead we should reach out to them (and touch them from afar).


11 posted on 08/20/2019 4:08:41 PM PDT by Migraine
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To: TADSLOS

“I THINK HE MEANS IT!!”


12 posted on 08/20/2019 4:09:20 PM PDT by Mr. K (No consequence of repealing obamacare is worse than obamacare itself.)
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To: kaehurowing

https://babylonbee.com/news/under-mounting-pressure-from-snopes-babylon-bee-writers-forced-to-admit-they-are-not-real-journalists


13 posted on 08/20/2019 4:09:57 PM PDT by BipolarBob (Heaven has gates, walls and immigration policy but Hell has an open border policy. Food for thought.)
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To: BipolarBob

Snopes is really, REALLY going to BBee for “fake news” now.


14 posted on 08/20/2019 4:10:26 PM PDT by Sirius Lee (“They are openly planning to murder you. Prep if you want to live.”)
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To: BipolarBob
In case you're unaware, here is Chief Outlaw:


15 posted on 08/20/2019 4:11:27 PM PDT by Rio
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To: BipolarBob
Gentlemen, we have solutions.


16 posted on 08/20/2019 4:12:48 PM PDT by thoughtomator (... this has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.)
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To: thoughtomator

No one expects The Anime Girl...

Flame on!


17 posted on 08/20/2019 4:13:43 PM PDT by TADSLOS (You know why you can enjoy a day at the Zoo? Because walls work.)
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To: SauronOfMordor

Watching the videos of Portland, there is one recurring large guy, dressed in black, and with black gloves.

He bullied people, snatched a flag from someone’s hands, and maybe later knocked some guy out - one roundhouse swing.

Looked to me like he was wearing weighted sap gloves, like this:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KDESOJW?tag=reloaderaddict-20

But, they were for self defense, right.


18 posted on 08/20/2019 4:14:21 PM PDT by Scrambler Bob (/S liberally (oops) applied to all posts.)
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To: BipolarBob
2AEE851E-B011-486B-87E7-141BD55E3452.jpg
19 posted on 08/20/2019 4:15:04 PM PDT by coaster123
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To: BipolarBob
If they do find someone to fight Antifa, and they beat Antifa, they will treat the people like Antifa did. History has proven that time after time.

What the people have to do is lift their skirts, put om their big girl panties and go out and fight Antifa like a man themselves.

20 posted on 08/20/2019 4:15:27 PM PDT by sport
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