Posted on 06/20/2019 10:03:45 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd
“My boyfriend can’t get over how many people I’ve slept with. I shouldn’t have told him, but he pressed me for the info. He was 'nerdy’ for most of high school and college, and just started coming into his own in his mid to late 20s. I have been dating consistently for years, and have had my fair share of hookups and relationships. And while I don’t think my number is crazy at all, he can’t deal with the discrepancy. We’ve been dating for two years and we’re serious. I don’t want to break up. How can I handle this?”
I agree that you probably shouldn’t have told him, but lots of people fall into the trap of discussing their sexual history with their current partner, and I get it. If you trust someone, it’s natural to want to talk about what you’ve learned from past relationships and sexual experiences. That said, numbers really aren’t necessary, and rarely do anything aside from making one person feel bad.
But you can’t go back, and his reaction may have provoked an important conversation. After all (and as you well know), this isn’t an issue of who has slept with more people. It’s about his comfort with his past, and it’s about both of you establishing that your needs are being met by this relationship.
First, you have to figure out the problem you’re tackling, because it will change the course of action.
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
Do you apply it to men? How many lovers can a man have before you call him a slut? Just out of curiosity.
I and a lot of my colleagues like our independence.
With divorce and alimony laws as they are and women having 50+ notch count, why bother trying hard to succeed? Odds of divorce rape is just too high for a successful man in the modern world. I grew up poor and never wanted that, plus I wanted to retire early, so I worked my butt off to make close to half a mil a year now in my mid 30s but most of my guy friends hit $50-$100k/year and just coast afterwards. Can’t say I blame them. I’m about to enter the dating market for the first time in 16 years and not worried about finding attractive women to date (8 more months of separation). Not many 37 year olds with my income driving a maserati that can travel the world and still sock away $150k/year for retirement out there, I’m more worried about finding women above the hot/crazy matrix line.
FR is increasingly a place that we must not blame men for anything. One poster on here is even opining that wife-beating pre-woman's lib was a fiction.
I told my wife how many people I’d slept with before we got married. She liked the answer. It was zero. Same answer she gave me.
It’s amazing how that uncomplicates things
5-10% of men are hooking up constantly with 50% of the women. Ever see the Plenty of Fish survey they did a few years ago by men vs women? Men had a perfect bell curve of women’s attractiveness. The women liked 10% of men and everyone else was well below a 5 out of 10.
The line from the old country song?
It’s a lot easier for a woman to get laid than it is for a man...The fact that the guy got lucky a few times compared to his companion may mean his failure rate wasn’t for a lack of trying...
Actually, she did. More of that trouble seeing what's really there, eh?
I don't use the term "slut" for men. Bill Clinton, to pick a notorious example, was and is a sleazeball.
How 'bout you? Is promiscuous random copulation "OK" in your book?
There’s an old country song that
deals with hot dogs and hallways?
I did not write post 240, and I never suggested anyone throw rocks at anyone else.
“The rocks don’t deserve that.” Same song, worse verse.
Perhaps that’s why they despise any woman who’ll have them.
Many guys will worship any woman who would simultaneously respect and help them.
Straw-man argument. No one has suggested that. But the entire sexual revolution/abortion/hookup culture was started by feminists and marxists. What a man wants in a mate/wife today is nearly identical to 100 years ago - attractive, young, good personality, low or zero notch count. What a woman wants has changed dramatically in that time as feminists have told these young women they can sleep around and work 50 hours a week in corporate america till they are 40 and then settle down and all will be well (or get married at 30 and divorce if you change your mind).
The wife-beating has never been a fiction (and still happens today as well) but it certainly wasn't anywhere near as frequent as feminists have tried to portray.
If a man doesn’t want to marry because of those reasons then they don’t marry. As a woman I wouldn’t want to marry a man that thought like that.
IMHO, the question doesn’t indicate an insecurity of any kind. (Refusing to answer might indicate an insecurity, though.)
I can’t even understand why two people wouldn’t have that talk. They should talk with each other about their separate pasts, as well as their future together. JMHO.
Not necessarily. You are generalizing. Doesn’t work that way in love and marriage.
“She didn’t admit to being a slut, she admitted to having more lovers than he had.”
Actually, she admitted several relationships and separately, several “hook ups”. Lots of people have more than one relationship that lead to sex. But hookups are one night stands. If a woman had several one night stands, that is the very definition of slutty.
And no, it isn’t the same for men. That would be like calling a man a bitch. Only homos would do that. Even the dictionary says so.
Hence why the rate of being married 18-65 has dropped from 75% to mid 40s in the last 60 years. The men are opting out of marriage for the previously discussed reasons and more and women still want to marry someone they see as superior to themselves in most things (which is an ever shrinking pool now) so fewer and fewer people are getting married.
Any woman can find a man if she really wants.
> You can blame that on the welfare state that pays women to have children out of wedlock.
I know exactly what is to blame and it is no-fault divorce, child support laws, family courts, and the practice of believing any claim no matter how little evidence there is of it. #MeToo and rape hoaxes and 50% fatherless rates in once-middle-class communities are the endgame that everyone else must live with.
There were other ways you could have been freed, without inflicting a legal and social plague on everyone else in the process.
I just wasn't sure you were talking about the country song.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.