Posted on 06/20/2019 10:03:45 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd
“My boyfriend can’t get over how many people I’ve slept with. I shouldn’t have told him, but he pressed me for the info. He was 'nerdy’ for most of high school and college, and just started coming into his own in his mid to late 20s. I have been dating consistently for years, and have had my fair share of hookups and relationships. And while I don’t think my number is crazy at all, he can’t deal with the discrepancy. We’ve been dating for two years and we’re serious. I don’t want to break up. How can I handle this?”
I agree that you probably shouldn’t have told him, but lots of people fall into the trap of discussing their sexual history with their current partner, and I get it. If you trust someone, it’s natural to want to talk about what you’ve learned from past relationships and sexual experiences. That said, numbers really aren’t necessary, and rarely do anything aside from making one person feel bad.
But you can’t go back, and his reaction may have provoked an important conversation. After all (and as you well know), this isn’t an issue of who has slept with more people. It’s about his comfort with his past, and it’s about both of you establishing that your needs are being met by this relationship.
First, you have to figure out the problem you’re tackling, because it will change the course of action.
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
I’ve made more money than my husband for most of our married life. You just never know what life is going to bring.
Young women today don’t think that way.
Your second statement is false, therefore your first statement is false. Do at least try to refrain from making false statements.
I notice you also called the man referenced in the OP "angry" based only on his slutty girlfriend's words and those of the strange individual responding to her.
Hmmm … Very interesting.
Are the tools that have enabled me to live my life without being dependent on a man. I would not give them up for anything. It was worth it to me. But they are not the reason we have fatherless children running around. You can blame that on the welfare state that pays women to have children out of wedlock.
You never met either of my sons. One is married, and she was.
It’s not necessarily in terms of money, but stature.
Young women today don’t think that way.
They may say they don’t. But deep down given the choice, they’d rather marry up.
(RE: Healy) I always loved....
“What’s my opinion of Kingman’s performance!? What the &@*$% do you think is my opinion of it?”
That has not been true for a lot longer than 1980s. The divorce rate was hitting double digits in the 60s. And most states had lifetime alimony for women starting in the 50s if the husband was abusive or cheating. Harder to prove then vs today but most of our ridiculous alimony and child custody laws today were founded in the 50s and 60s.
If you can decide that girl is bitchy and slutty, I can decide that man is angry. If I’m not qualified, neither are you.
Again, what young women consider as “marrying up” doesn’t mean the same thing it did years ago.
I love your comments. You love her and respect her as an individual. Thanks for your inspiring post.
“And I don’t call all men angry. I only call angry men angry. You’re angry.”
Touche.
Based in my family history research, extramarital sex was nit uncommon going back art least to the 1920s.
He came home after his first tour of duty on this assignement.
His quote: "Fellas....you should have seen what I did tonight. And it's only TUESDAY!"
I don’t think I missed your point. But maybe my last post wasn’t clear enough.
Your argument is that the question doesn’t need to be asked because her true character will be revealed eventually. Right?
I think a person’s true character might not be revealed until it’s too late. So, these questions need to be asked in the beginning.
If the person lies about the past (as some here believe people should do), then that lie alone reveals that person’s character.
If a person doesn’t want to answer the question, that’s understandable, but that person’s past may become an issue later. So, it’s best to be open and honest from the beginning.
we can also blame the guy that knocks the woman up but doesn’t stick around.
She admitted being a slut. I merely do her the honor of believing her. The man's voice is utterly absent from the OP.
So: My assessment of her is based on her own words, a confession. Your assessment of him is based on hearsay and an ideological response to said hearsay.
Very …. interesting.
That is one part of it. If he asks the question in the present reality then he is most probably pretty insecure and will not trust what she says if she says there were none and it will eat at him long term if she says any number above zero unless she is obviously coming off a recent breakup and the number 1 is inescapable. If he does not ask then he is either mentally secure or has suppressed his insecurity.
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