I Told My Boyfriend How Many People I’d Slept with…and He Didn’t Like the Answer

“My boyfriend can’t get over how many people I’ve slept with. I shouldn’t have told him, but he pressed me for the info. He was 'nerdy’ for most of high school and college, and just started coming into his own in his mid to late 20s. I have been dating consistently for years, and have had my fair share of hookups and relationships. And while I don’t think my number is crazy at all, he can’t deal with the discrepancy. We’ve been dating for two years and we’re serious. I don’t want to break up. How can I handle this?”

I agree that you probably shouldn’t have told him, but lots of people fall into the trap of discussing their sexual history with their current partner, and I get it. If you trust someone, it’s natural to want to talk about what you’ve learned from past relationships and sexual experiences. That said, numbers really aren’t necessary, and rarely do anything aside from making one person feel bad.

But you can’t go back, and his reaction may have provoked an important conversation. After all (and as you well know), this isn’t an issue of who has slept with more people. It’s about his comfort with his past, and it’s about both of you establishing that your needs are being met by this relationship.

First, you have to figure out the problem you’re tackling, because it will change the course of action.

Forgive her past? It doesn't work that way. Forgiveness won't change the odds, won't change her.

The nerd probably has seen the divorce odds for women with 10+ partners, and can figure his odds correctly.

She will shortly be looking for someone better, as she has been doing for quite some time, apparently. She's just now old enough to start looking for monetary security instead of thrills.

“The divorce rate was around 1% then.”

They were economically stuck. They were not allowed their own credit (I remember that myself in the ‘80s), real estate in their own names (changed in Florida in the ‘70s), or a professional degree (also changed in the ‘80s).

They needed provision for themselves and kids they had to have because of no birth control (illegal till the 70’s).

That is as good an explanation as any.

I understand that you never heard anyone say that about virginity. It means nothing except that you have fully accepted the pagan culture and you think it is normal. I agree that it is in fact normal but there is nothing good about it. The rock I crawled out from is the rock of my salvation, Jesus Christ.

>>>Women should understand that men are looking for virgin wives with no debt and no tattoos, and act accordingly.<<<

According to this article only 12% of women are virgins after college. And IIRC the average age of first marriage is 28 for women.

https://thetransformedwife.com/only-12-3-percent-of-females-are-virgins-after-college/

And I’ve heard on Christian radio, but can’t find the source to document it here, that only 5% of men and women are virgins on their wedding night.

So apparently men don’t care that much. I think they should, but that is not that important to most men imho.

168 posts and not a single Rodney Dangerfield joke.....

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “Surprise me.” He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy…why are you doing that for?” He said, “Because you came home early.”

With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.

I tell ya, I don’t get no respect ... Last week, my wife told me that she was going to cut me down to twice a month. But I thought about it, and I figured that it wasn’t too bad. I know a couple of guys that she cut out completely.

> If a guy wants a tat free, debt free virgin, he’d better bring the same to the table. Period.

I wholly agree. A man should be capable of providing for and protecting his family and ensuring that the next generation is properly trained to provide for itself. And he should be expected to master his sexual urges and stay faithful to his wife.

I had a similar discussion with a female coworker the other day (I’m male) Four of us work together, 3 guys in 40’s or mid 50’s the female just turned 27. She told me that her BF kept pressing and pressing and asking if she cheated (they have been living together for about a year) finally she gave in and told him she did one time.

I told her if she asked me before she “confessed” then I would have told her to lie and not confess. She then asked the other two guys and they both said they would have told her to not tell him.

"'Women should understand that men are looking for virgin wives with no debt and no tattoos, and act accordingly.' What percent of women between 18 and 25 have all three attributes? Have two? Have just one?"

In Alabama I know many young adults like that. And many who have fairly hidden tattoos (i.e. small, located in an unlooked spot like on the ankle, and/or almost the same color as the skin so it's tough to see w/o looking for it). And no debts. And waiting until marriage before getting it on. A minority? Definitely. Unheard of? Nope. And they get to be choosy about who they date and marry because everybody their age wants them.

From someone who ‘knew nothing’, until his
first year overseas, you just gave your
boyfriend a whole bushel of hand grenades
to toss at you, if and when y’all have
a big tiff. You are the Olympic gymnast,
while he is the kid jamming his head into
the rolled up mat attempting his first
forward roll.

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