Posted on 05/09/2019 10:49:40 AM PDT by sodpoodle
If you have bad sex with a hooker, is it discounted?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your a**?
Sounds like George Carlin ruminations.
or steven wright
> Where’s that extra penny going to?
Entry fee.
Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere...
atmosphere?
Why do Americans drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?
Why do you give a **** and take a pee?
I saw fat free half and half at the store but couldn’t find any fat free heavy cream.
What do they ship styrofoam in?
If ‘Con’ is the opposite of ‘Pro’, then what is the opposite of ‘Progress’?
Why do you say, “I have to take a s___”.....you don’t take ‘em, you leave ‘em?
“I have to take a s___.”
“Don’t take one of mine! I only have three left and the weekend’s coming.”
If l-a-u-g-h-t-e-r is pronounced laffter;
Why isn’t d-a-u-g-h-t-e-r pronounced daffter?
[[Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere..]]
Semi bad joke= Why aren’t hemorrhoids called asteroids?
posted already please remove
if you eat pasta and antipasta together, are you still hungry afterwards?
Does antimatter really matter?
It’s mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter
The sign said “Stop Ahead”, I stopped but i didn’t see no head
The sign said “Fine for littering” So i littered
The Sign said “No, You turn” So I turned
I saw a sign that said “No Signs Allowed”
There is Stop sign here, that says STOP!
They added another sign below it that says Caution, through traffic does not STOP
Bubble wrap, duh.
Thanks for the chuckles.
LOL! I almost lost my lunch.
2) When you close the refrigerator door, does that little light in there stay on?
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