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Why My Wife And I Decided To Abort Our Unborn Gay Son [SATIRE]
The Federalist ^ | February 28, 2019 | Stephen Lavedas

Posted on 03/01/2019 4:54:20 PM PST by RoosterRedux

My girlfriend and I recently found out she is pregnant. I told her I’d support her and the baby, and secretly started saving for an engagement ring. She said she thought I would have wanted her to get an abortion. I didn’t—at least at first.

She was excited and started planning the nursery. It took me two months to save up, but I finally got on one knee and popped the question. She cried and said yes. I’m still scared about being a dad, but I’ve got a good job and so does she. We’ll make a great family, just the three of us.

Last week, though, she went in for a checkup. We decided to get full fetal blood work done. Everyone’s doing it; the doctor said there is little risk to the fetus, and better safe than sorry, right? I’m sure everything will be fine, and we’ll learn the sex. I really hope it’s a boy.

Oh, and we decided to make everything official with a trip to the courthouse. We are married now!

Well, got the blood work results, and there’s good news and bad news. Good news: It’s a boy and he’s healthy. Bad news: He’s gay. I didn’t even know there was a blood test for that now, but I guess it’s new? They found the genes that cause homosexuality and they test for them now.

I’m a really tolerant person, but this has made me think hard. I don’t know how I feel about trying to raise a gay son. Will I be able to relate to him? Won’t his life be super hard? I know things are getting better for gay people, but it seems to me that being gay is really hard in the South, where we live.

(Excerpt) Read more at thefederalist.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: abortion; belongsinchat; bloggers; clickbait; garbage; homosexualagenda; irony; justkidding; lgbtforfetus; not4real; notnews; notreally; opistrolling; parody; poeticjustice; recoveringexhippie; rlly; roosterredux; sarcasm; satire; sendup; thisissogay; trolls; whatsgoingonhere
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To: dsrtsage

Um, satire.


41 posted on 03/01/2019 5:19:37 PM PST by SoFloFreeper
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To: RoosterRedux

Obviously, and incredulously, none of you have a family member who is gay. It is baked in. You can’t fake it when you’re a toddler. And ps, that fact does not make me any less R.


42 posted on 03/01/2019 5:20:08 PM PST by EnquiringMind
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To: gloryblaze

It’s exactly the same as, if we could somehow suddenly learn that all the illegals coming across the southern border were going to register and vote Republican. I guarantee, the ‘Rats would have a 50 ft high and 6ft thick wall finished before Labor Day.


43 posted on 03/01/2019 5:21:00 PM PST by Tucker39 ("It ishttps://y impossible to rightly govern a nation without God and the Bible." George Washington)
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To: RoosterRedux
This is COMPLETE BULL$HIT.

There is NO known test to predict whether a FETUS will emerge as a homosexual.

Once again... I call BULL$HIT!

44 posted on 03/01/2019 5:22:26 PM PST by VideoDoctor
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To: RoosterRedux

He’s Smolletting.


45 posted on 03/01/2019 5:25:45 PM PST by E. Pluribus Unum (Capitalism produces EVERYTHING Socialists/Communists/Democratic-Socialists wish to "redistribute.")
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To: RoosterRedux

I hope this is satire for there is no test to determine homosexuality. It has to a learned condition, then choice.


46 posted on 03/01/2019 5:30:06 PM PST by elpadre (AfganistaMr Obama said theoal was to "disrupt, dismantle and defeat al-hereQaeda" and its allies.)
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To: dsrtsage

Not credible . Should be deleted .


47 posted on 03/01/2019 5:31:45 PM PST by katykelly
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To: Recovering Ex-hippie

yep


48 posted on 03/01/2019 5:33:04 PM PST by SaveFerris (Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold ......)
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To: RoosterRedux

I do dream of the left aborting themselves to extinction.


49 posted on 03/01/2019 5:33:24 PM PST by shanover (...To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them.-S.Adams)
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To: RoosterRedux

[What’s that you say? No “gay” gene?;-)]

Liberal heads will explode if they ever have to admit that.


50 posted on 03/01/2019 5:34:04 PM PST by SaveFerris (Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold ......)
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To: RoosterRedux

Babylon Bee?


51 posted on 03/01/2019 5:34:51 PM PST by SkyDancer ( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
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To: VideoDoctor

Whooosh!


52 posted on 03/01/2019 5:38:27 PM PST by Dalberg-Acton
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To: EnquiringMind

I think there are lots of gay children out there from a very young age. I know that there are even more of them that seek it as an unhealthy refuge in their teen years and older.


53 posted on 03/01/2019 5:40:10 PM PST by 21twelve (!)
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To: Veto!

I would not say ‘clearly labeled’ as satire. Having read the article in its entirety, yes, I agree that it is satire but it took your comment, followed by an additional quick review, to see that it was labeled as satire. ‘Satire’, above the title (large, red font) certainly does not stand out.


54 posted on 03/01/2019 5:43:15 PM PST by A Formerly Proud Canadian (I once was blind but now I see...)
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To: dsrtsage

It’s in the Satire section of the Federalist. It brilliantly points out several absurdities of the left’s ideology.


55 posted on 03/01/2019 5:43:58 PM PST by Flaming Conservative ((Pray without ceasing))
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To: sam_whiskey

Yep


56 posted on 03/01/2019 5:44:09 PM PST by xzins (Retired US Army chaplain. Support our troops by praying for their victory.)
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To: ssaftler

Look up the word “satire” in the dictionary.


57 posted on 03/01/2019 5:46:54 PM PST by Flaming Conservative ((Pray without ceasing))
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To: RoosterRedux

The comments on this thread are far more hilarious, more ludicrous, more outrageous and yes, more stupid than comments have been in a long long time.

Look for this thread to get pulled.


58 posted on 03/01/2019 5:49:23 PM PST by Responsibility2nd
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To: RoosterRedux

I raise the bullshiite flag!


59 posted on 03/01/2019 5:50:01 PM PST by doorgunner69
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To: RoosterRedux

I didn’t know Gene was ghey!


60 posted on 03/01/2019 5:55:39 PM PST by rockrr ( Everything is different now...)
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