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The Headlines They Wish They Could Write: Day 1
Original content
| 7/27/2018
| By Laz A. Mataz
Posted on 07/27/2018 2:35:47 PM PDT by Lazamataz
Today, we discovered that the GDP, a measure of productivity and economic growth, accelerated to 4.1% this last quarter. It had to gall the News Misleadia, they must have been furious. I expected these headlines:
CBS: “Obama Lays Groundwork For Massive GDP Growth In 2018”
NYT: “Trump Fails To Reach 4.2% GDP, Economists Startled”
NBC: “Uncontrolled Expansion Threatens Trade Relations”
CNN: “Trump Russian Collusion Causes Freak Economic Spurt”
MSNBC: “Trump Sucks. Everyone Should Hate Him. Effing Nazi.”
I had fun creating these. I might make this a daily thing.
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: lazpings
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To: doorgunner69
Ping!Thanks for the ping! This guy's funny! :)
21
posted on
07/27/2018 2:52:07 PM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(The New York Times is so openly dishonest, even their crossword puzzles lie.)
To: logitech
I heard one report today that said the rise in GDP was fueled by countries stocking up ahead of tariffs.Another report said the GDP jump was fueled by an increase in soybean prices.
Which would account for 0.0022% of said increase.
And they wonder why we laugh at them.
22
posted on
07/27/2018 2:53:33 PM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(The New York Times is so openly dishonest, even their crossword puzzles lie.)
To: Lazamataz; governsleastgovernsbest
>
Would you like me to ping you to these, or should I create a new ping list so people can more easily opt-in/out and not miss the more meaty articles I occasionally write? I suggest you separate the lists.
You might also want to check in with Freeper Mark Finkelstein (governsleastgovernsbest) since he runs the Liberal Media Criticism List, which tracks and reports on the latest liberal media atrocities and unintentional humor.
Between the two of you we'll be laughing, groaning, and rolling in the aisles every day!!
23
posted on
07/27/2018 2:55:51 PM PDT
by
dayglored
("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
To: dayglored; governsleastgovernsbest
You might also want to check in with Freeper Mark Finkelstein (governsleastgovernsbest) since he runs the Liberal Media Criticism List, which tracks and reports on the latest liberal media atrocities and unintentional humor. Between the two of you we'll be laughing, groaning, and rolling in the aisles every day!!Whatchya think, Mark F? Could you use a daily humor column on your website, necessarily short of course, of this type?
24
posted on
07/27/2018 2:58:13 PM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(The New York Times is so openly dishonest, even their crossword puzzles lie.)
To: Lazamataz
I like meaty stuff. A little potatoes and gravy also.
To: logitech
Including plastic straws, especially the flexible kind.
To: Lazamataz
I’m good being on the list.
27
posted on
07/27/2018 3:04:34 PM PDT
by
Pelham
(California, Mexico's socialist colony)
To: Lazamataz
28
posted on
07/27/2018 3:07:58 PM PDT
by
Jemian
To: Lazamataz
Either way, I want on it!
To: Lazamataz
30
posted on
07/27/2018 3:11:32 PM PDT
by
Lurker
(President Trump isn't our last chance. President Trump is THEIR last chance.)
To: Lazamataz
31
posted on
07/27/2018 3:13:19 PM PDT
by
TexasTransplant
(Damn the Torpedoes! Full Speed Ahead!)
To: FreedBird
Could we please have the DNC talking points.
Less People on foodstamps. Trump is taking food out of the mouths of pregnant moms and starving babies.
Less People on TANF-Temporary Assistance to Needy Families.
Trump has no heart.
While the unemployed are getting jobs, don’t forget that the welfare state (for the poor) is shrinking.
But what about welfare to Big AG?
To: Lazamataz
33
posted on
07/27/2018 3:19:10 PM PDT
by
Carriage Hill
(Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.)
To: Lazamataz
Ping me 😀
To: Lazamataz
Pinging works for me. Just keep on keepin’ on :-)
35
posted on
07/27/2018 3:23:33 PM PDT
by
Fast Moving Angel
(It is no more than a dream remembered, a Civilization gone with the wind.)
To: Lazamataz
LOL, I couldn’t bear to miss any meaty articles from you, Laz! If I am not on your list, be sure to add me.
Hilarity ensues!
36
posted on
07/27/2018 3:25:23 PM PDT
by
rlmorel
(Leftists: They believe in the "Invisible Hand" only when it is guided by government.)
To: Lazamataz
All or none.
It’s like pizza - pick off what you don’t want.
37
posted on
07/27/2018 3:25:59 PM PDT
by
AF_Blue
("This place has got everything." - Jake Blues)
To: Lazamataz
38
posted on
07/27/2018 3:36:01 PM PDT
by
ex91B10
To: Lazamataz
39
posted on
07/27/2018 3:36:02 PM PDT
by
Nifster
(I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
To: Lazamataz
Ping! “They’ll never get thru the Cajon to ya!”
40
posted on
07/27/2018 3:36:15 PM PDT
by
TaMoDee
(The Pack will be back in 2018! Go Pack!!)
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