Thanks JockoManning.
Posted on 04/22/2018 5:02:56 PM PDT by JockoManning
One of the things I fuss about a lot (especially at Buffer) are words—very simple words, in fact. Should it say “Hi” or “Hey?” Should it be “cheers” or “thanks?” How about “but” or “and?”
There are many occasions when Joel and I sit over one line and change it multiple times, until we feel it really sits right. This is partly to improve our metrics for click rate and others. It is also to simply create the right emotion. The one key question we ask ourselves is:
“How does this make you feel?”
The question might sound very obvious. And yet, it’s a very different question to say for example “Which message do you want to send?” or “What is the content of this announcement?” By always focusing on how it will make someone feel whenever we write even a single line, we immediately improved the amount of responses we got from our users.
Recently we explored how much sleep do we really need to work productively. Let’s do the same with language. We’ll dig in to how our brain works and expose some of the most persuasive words in english:
Bonus tip: Add optimal scheduling to these lessons on language, and watch your social media updates improve immediately!
Our brain while listening to words Recently, a lot of the longstanding paradigms in how our brain processes language were overthrown. New and cutting edge studies that produced quite startling and different results. The one study I found most interesting is UCL’s findings on how we can separate words from intonation. Whenever we listen to words, this is what happens:
“Words are then shunted over to the left temporal lobe [of our brain] for processing, while the melody is channelled to the right side of the brain, a region more stimulated by music.”. . .
“The human brain can really only hold on to four things at a time, so if you go on and on for five or 10 minutes trying to argue a point, the person will only remember a very small part of that.”Instead, 30 seconds is the optimal amount for us to speak at any given time says Newberg:
“Speak briefly, meaning that you speak one or two sentences, maybe 30 seconds worth or so, because that’s really what the human brain can take in.”
. . .
Avoid adverbs in speech and writing
Something I struggle the most with is to stop using adverbs. They are, in fact one of the worst elements of speech and even make a listener or reader lose trust.. . .
The skill of asking questions: “What would you do?”
When I read this, I realized I totally suck at it. Journalist-turned-entrepreneur Evan Ratliff put it like this “all that’s really saved me (so far) from madness is being able to formulate questions that deliver useful answers.”
He points out that any questions that start with “who,” “what,” “where,” “when,” “how,” or “why” are likely to get great responses. To be avoided are “would,” “should,” “is,” “are,” and “do you think,” as they can limit how people respond to you a lot.
. . .
From:
https://blog.bufferapp.com/which-words-matter-the-most-when-we-talk-the-psychology-of-language
Indeed. Me too.
Very well and accurately put, imho. Thanks.
bookmark
Check our a website called Vibes Up, they have items that change vibrations.
People who say "Boom!" (other than to describe for example the sound of a literal explosion) should be subjected to a very unpleasant (and fatal) fate.
To quote a certain fellow in a helmet, “verrry interesting.”
I don't understand your hostility to using it in such a way. All individuals use language in very personal and some often creative ways.
In a text oriented communications channel, BOOM is a pretty descriptive way of signalling a significant shock is on the near horizon.
We think so. Thanks.
It's an annoying and obnoxious habit of annoying and obnoxious people.
Finally, Holy Spirit eventually succeeded in helping him realize, life was too short to be sooooooo annoyed about sooooo many things--all the more so in closer relationships; work relationships; driving, etc.
Besides, he saw that most of the annoyed energy had virtually NOTHING to do with the issue at hand and almost everything to do with RAD (Attachment) issues and a raging deep inner need to be in !CONTROL!; have potent impact on his environment; feel 'good' about himself by virtue of being more 'perfect' (what a vain, impossible task THAT was!--which, said perfectionism, correlates with LESS success in life; less life satisfaction; less fulfilling relationships, less durable relationships, less status in study after study) etc. etc. etc.
And, after a couple of decades of doing therapy and teaching a LOT of folks, he'd discovered that what his profs said was usually, largely true--most people are extremely resistant to changing.
So here he was being all arrogantly energized trying to batter folks far and wide more into his image & sensibilities--to usually virtually zero effectiveness in achieving that goal. On top of that--folks did NOT love him more for said efforts on his part. That was true for him on FR, too.
He finally realized that life is just tooooooo short to waste that kind of energy on that type of futile and usually offensive-to-others goal. So he began to increasingly lay it aside--particularly out of that kind of motivation and in that kind of tone and attitude.
Perhaps, you are wasting far too much energy, focus, emotionality being compulsively addicted to being annoyed about so many inconsequential things.
Smell the flowers. Enjoy people as they are with their warts and all--in all their splendid variety, complexions, colors & unique flawed habits.
You're not likely to find them otherwise. You're certainly not likely to successfully conform them to your image and sensibilties.
And even if by some miracle, you succeeded in getting them to conform to 10 out of 12 of your 'higher priority' sensibilities, you'd find another 10 issues to get newly all fussed up about . . . and NOT to the delight of the other people involved.
Life is too short. People are too precious--WITH--all their flaws. Loving them as they are is too rewarding and productive to live life and relationships any other way.
imho.
See post number 69 for reply.
Thankfully, hopefully, Fred is not too likely to actually do that. And, God seems to be answering prayer that Fred work more earnestly at laying aside such rage. It does show up across the board in the rest of his life, too--though most pointedly and persistently when driving.
But it's been and remains a huge struggle--very tied to Fred's incredible levels of pride.
And this is a truly very bright--genius level, earnest, authentic Christian engineer. He's on his 3rd marriage, IIRC. His flawed wife used to drive him almost daily to extreme distractions as a minimum, with her imperfections.
Finally, God has increasingly succeeded at mellowing things out on both sides of those sorts of problems.
Yet the bulk of his enormous, vain pride and perfectionism remain--along with his road rage. At least now, he's more humble about realizing it and seeking prayer for it. He may even be starting to change. He doesn't want another stroke.
Perhaps you are taking yourself FAR too seriously.
Though, actually, YOU are the one choosing to spend a lot of emotional energy getting all fussed up over some unknown net person's choices in posting.
As though YOUR sensibilities were the paragon reigning ones to be slavishly applied by one and all.
Who's puking up endless word-salad? Who's pontificating on the right words to use?
The mirror, little one. Look in it.
Thanks JockoManning.
Thank you.
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