Skip to comments.Bender's NFL Live Thread: Divisional Playoffs
Posted on 01/08/2018 2:55:36 PM PST by Impy
"What's wrong, babe?"
You know very well what's wrong, the wifi speed is on the fritz and you clogged the toilet again! I don't don't understand how an Internet meme can use so many tampons! Plus the North Koreans are gonna get on my case for posting an NFL thread!! After the day I'm having!!!! Uggggg!!!
"Did you know that in addition to yall White crackas boycotting my homeboys for kneeling that dozens, even scores of WOKE people are boycotting for anotha reason, because I'm being blacklisted!? #noKaepernicknoNFL"
Yeah, actually, I did know that, Colon. I also know how you can get off the 'blacklist', interested? If I tell you need to promise to screw off and stop interupting our threads.
"Deal, cracka. I know you can't see em through this dope hairdo but I'm all ears."
Ok then, what you need to do is simple, you need to remember how to complete a forward pass before your O-lineman start growing Rip Van Winkle beards. If you are able to do that they'd let you play and be as big of a piece of crap douche clubhouse cancer as you like!
"Ah I tried dat though, dat's hard. Even harder than choosing a pair of sneakers to wear from my massive collection, isn't there another way?"
Well, you could always shoot straight and fly right, there are plenty of cruddy QBs in the leauge who aren't clubhouse cancers. You can suck at your job or you can be human garbage, but not both.
"I love your shoe collection, Colon. Mine is better though."
"Alexa, is Imelda Marcos still alive?"
"Yes, as far as I know Imelda Marcos is still alive, she's 88 years old."
"Of course I'm alive! I'm talking you aren't I?"
"Yarr, you actually don't need to be alive to be here, I'm living proof. Or not living proof, you know what I mean, the Red Witch reanimated my corpse."
"Witch? Excuse me, I won't toletate bigoted comments toward my religion!"
"Wait, aren't you fictional?"
"I know you did not just call her fictional! That's racist, and there's no way your shoes is nicer than mine!"
"Help, someone help me, the pitchforks, they're poking me! I've got padding back there but it still hurts! Help!"
"Sorry, resurrecting your team is beyond my powers."
Eagles, Patriots, Steelers, Saints...................
Note: Trolls need to food to live, let them starve
What. Did. I. Just. Read.
Why should N.E. and Pittsburgh even have to play? Their opponents have no chance. Did you see how bad the Jagwads played? My wife wondered what was going on because my son and I were cracking up about how bad both teams were.
It’s a weekly (during the season) NFL thread. Freeper Bender2 did them but I’ve taken over since he’s under the weather, he made humorus postings with lots of pictures and I’ve tried to emulate that in my own way. Click on the keyword “traiorz” if you want to waste your time reading previous ones. ;-p
Anyway, here goes. And amateur comment following.
1. I'm convinced Atlanta has playoff experience and they will prevail.
2. No Way Tennessee gets a last second tip to the QB for a TD this week.
3. Jax put up a whopping 10 points to Buffalo when they should have roasted them. Pitt has the home game, and too many weapons for Jax to cover.
4. Toughest of the bunch to figure. Brees passing game came alive against Newton, but I don't think he can do it with Minn. Brees is going to have to beat Minn with Kamara and Ingram. Keenum will have to beat Brees with the passing game. Have to take the home team.
Reposted for posterity and for exhortation, edification and comfort regarding the trolls...
Whats an SJW? A self-righteous prig who thinks you should not be free to choose but should comply with their viewpoint because they think their personal opinion is morally superior.
Who are the SJWs on the Left? Pretty much all of them.
Who are the SJWs on the Right? Well FR certainly has some - theyre the anti-NFL folks who think its their duty to straighten the rest of us out.
Not all that have been turned off by the idiots in the NFL are SJWs and few, if any, of us on this thread endorse the unpatriotic attitude of the NFL and some of their idiot players. The SJWs are only those who think they are morally superior and need to straighten out the rest of us.
FRs SJWs. There are others. But well leave it at that for now.
In before the self righteous anti NFL trolls.
Bro, THIS is poetry:
The Gods of the Copybook Headings
AS I PASS through my incarnations in every age and race,
I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.
We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.
We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.
With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.
When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “Stick to the Devil you know.”
On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “The Wages of Sin is Death.”
In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “If you don’t work you die.”
Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.
As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;
And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!
You have outdone yourself.
Famous analysis later...
Sounds good to me. Home team wins 75% of these games on average (however they don’t always cover the spread) some interesting Superbowl possibilities like Minnesota playing a home game or an ATL New England rematch.
I was 2 - 2 last week, but I WAS ROBBED because of the Tennessee game. There was discussion about why Atlanta should beat the Rams, because Atlanta has playoff experience. That proved to be accurate.
That’s why I went with Atlanta, not only playoff experience but bad experience recently so they have something to prove.
Steelers all the way..wishful thinking on my part.
I never realized how long bender gender reassignment surgery took to recover from...
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