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Need Marine Jokes
me | 12/13/16 | lafroste

Posted on 12/13/2016 7:22:43 PM PST by lafroste

OK, my son is at Parris Island right now and as of today has one month to graduation. He is hanging tough. But he wrote me and asked for more letters, more news. My fingers are about worn out sending and writing stuff. He likes Marine jokes and I sent him a few but I am running out of ideas. I would like you guys to submit Marine positive humor that I can send him to encourage both him and the other men in his platoon. We need to encourage these guys. Jokes are welcome. Letters are welcome. Help me support our newest Marines. They already deserve it!


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: gunny; marines; military; usmc
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To: lafroste

The Navy-
Kind of like Uber, but for the Marines.


101 posted on 12/14/2016 6:24:03 AM PST by Excellence (Marine mom since April 11, 2014)
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To: Excellence

I failed the Marine Corp physical exam. I couldn’t put my head in a jar.


102 posted on 12/14/2016 6:26:35 AM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: lafroste

Why does the Navy have Marines aboard their ships?

Sheep would be too obvious.


103 posted on 12/14/2016 9:11:56 AM PST by Rannug ("all enemies, foreign and : domestic")
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To: RetiredUSMC

Dang ol’ screen got blurry while reading that.

Thank you for your service and Merry Christmas.


104 posted on 12/14/2016 9:19:39 AM PST by Responsibility2nd
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To: lafroste

Send him a carton of cigarettes and a pack of gum. He’ll have to smoke the cigarettes with a pail over his head and they’ll make him chew the gum with the wrappers on. Now that’s funny!


105 posted on 12/14/2016 10:15:50 AM PST by MCRD
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To: SES1066

My son just finished boot camp in the summer and it is brutal with the humidity, and the sandflies.

Trace Adkins sings a song about marines at Parris Island,and while the west coast does boot camp at Pendleton, Parris Island will always hold special for most marines and he country due to history and tradition.


106 posted on 12/14/2016 10:27:06 AM PST by manc ( If they want so called marriage equality then they should support polygamy too.)
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To: manc

The west boot camp is at the recruit depot by San Diego airport. Pendleton is north of Oceanside. Although they do the crucible at pendleron


107 posted on 12/14/2016 10:34:27 AM PST by morphing libertarian
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To: lafroste

Some funny jokes here:

http://www.survivalistboards.com/showthread.php?t=16426

and

https://www.vetfriends.com/jokes/

Some are a bit unrefined.


108 posted on 12/14/2016 10:42:49 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Darteaus94025
He will be more popular is he tells jokes about the Navy.

Yah,like when Colonel Jessup commented on Lieutenant Caffery's "faggoty white uniform".

In "A Few Good Men"

109 posted on 12/14/2016 11:22:28 AM PST by Gay State Conservative (Deplorables' Lives Matter)
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To: lafroste

Nothing to you, personally......I wanted to be a Marine, but they found out my parents were married.


110 posted on 12/14/2016 11:26:34 AM PST by Safetgiver (Islam makes barbarism look genteel.)
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To: MCRD

Yeah, a guy in our platoon got a box of cookies from home.
The DI asked him if there were enough for the whole platoon.
He said no so the DI said he could eat them all by himself.
The poge was happy until the DI made him eat them all
in one sitting while drinking hot water and smoking a cigar.

Ah the good old days.


111 posted on 12/14/2016 11:31:39 AM PST by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: morphing libertarian

OK Thanks


112 posted on 12/14/2016 12:39:52 PM PST by manc ( If they want so called marriage equality then they should support polygamy too.)
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To: lafroste
Nuclear Submariner. Even Marines need heroes to look up to.
113 posted on 12/14/2016 5:17:54 PM PST by Nuc 1.1 (Nuc 1 Liberals aren't Patriots. Remember 1789!)
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To: lafroste

The Master Chief Petty Officer and the Master Gunnery Sergeant Two old friends, one a Marine and one a Sailor meet in a bar one day (I know it may be hard to imagine either a Sailor or a Marine being in a bar ? but hear the tale). They began to discuss which of them had had the more difficult and dangerous 30 year career. The retired Marine Master Gunnery Sergeant begins: ?I graduated from High School, the next morning I was on the train for Parris Island, South Carolina. Following Boot Camp I found myself in a Regiment assigned to the Iwo Jima assault. With my fellow Marines we fought our way to the top of Mount Suribachi. ?In Korea I was with ?Chesty? Puller at Inchon, then we fought our way toward the Yalu River. In the cold Korean winter we fought at the Battle of Chosin Reservoir, ?I ended my career after Viet Nam where I spent 3 months in the Battle of Khe Sanh after stomping through endless rice paddies.? The Navy Master Chief looked him in the eye and took a long draw on his bottle of beer and said simply: ?Well, it figures, all shore duty?.


114 posted on 12/14/2016 5:33:09 PM PST by rolling_stone (not this time!)
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To: AZDesertRat

what does the Marine Corps call the navy? Transportation


115 posted on 12/14/2016 5:59:57 PM PST by morphing libertarian
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To: rolling_stone

LOL


116 posted on 12/14/2016 6:41:18 PM PST by manc ( If they want so called marriage equality then they should support polygamy too.)
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To: OftheOhio

Chill Tonto, I like the Marines.


117 posted on 12/14/2016 7:29:34 PM PST by Rembrandt (Part of the 51% who pay Federal taxes)
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To: rlmorel

“There is a lot to admire in the Marines.”

I never have, and never would, dispute that. OK? Lots of super sensitive jarheads out there, maybe a lot of insecure jarheads.


118 posted on 12/14/2016 7:31:24 PM PST by Rembrandt (Part of the 51% who pay Federal taxes)
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To: Rembrandt

LOL, squids...my buddy and I who went in together still refer to ourselves as a couple of squids...:)


119 posted on 12/14/2016 8:51:14 PM PST by rlmorel (Orwell described Liberals when he wrote of those who "repudiate morality while laying claim to it.")
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To: Rembrandt

I figured as much, just busting your chops, lol. All my jokes aren’t fit to print. The old stereotype does get old sometimes though. Several times over the years I’ve had nightmares about being in boot camp at PI. It’s to bad wisdom doesn’t come earlier in life. I had dinner a couple weeks ago with an old Inchon Marine at our local country dinner. It’s hard to believe some are still alive. One funny thing I remember about Boot camp is in our platoon picture one recruit is holding an eight ball. Oh how I hated the sound of that thing bouncing on concrete.


120 posted on 12/15/2016 8:51:01 AM PST by OftheOhio (never could dance but always could kata - Romeo company)
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