This Incredibly Creepy Mattress Tells You When Sex Is Happening (WiFi/Internet pings your phone)

Gizmodo ^ | Apr 17, 2016 | Chris Mills

[dayglored]

Apparently, we’re in the middle of a “global infidelity crisis,” a crisis that can only be solved by a smart mattress that pings your phone when it’s being used for sex. Wait, what?

Smarttress is a real-looking product from Spanish company Durmet, which claims to use ultrasonic sensors to detect when two people are going at it on a bed. It then pings your phone to inform you of this fact.

I’m still partly convinced that this is a late April Fool’s, but working on the terrifying assumption that it’s not, let’s look at this idea on its merits. On the plus side, you’ll know if your significant other is having sex on your bed (although not on your couch, futon, desk, kitchen table, floor, car, or hotel bed); on the downside, you’ll know for certain that you’re a paranoid sociopath who needs wildly inefficient ways of keeping tabs on people.

[dayglored]

A little late for April Fool's Day, this might just be real...

[dayglored]

WTF? ... PING!

You can find all the Windows Ping list threads with FR search: just search on keyword "windowspinglist".

[dayglored]

I suppose this is TechPing-worthy...

[Greetings_Puny_Humans]

The GOP and most of the “conservative” establishment really need access to this technology. I doubt any of their wives would be faithful. Who could blame them? These bow-tie freaks and their weird baby faces.

[teletech]

Paging Mrs Cruz.

[bigbob]

And for an extra $1000 they will install it in your bedroom when your spouse isn’t home.

[Ken H]

Sounds like a credit monitoring service. ‘We have detected no suspicious activity in the last 30 days.’

[martin_fierro]

I dunno about that, but my mattress is cued to play some bow-chicka-wow-wow music

[tacticalogic]

WTF? ... PING!

Not what, when.

[ClearCase_guy]

“My wife likes to talk to me after sex. She usually calls collect.” — Rodney Dangerfield

[Company Man]

My wife would know everything within two hours, without help.

[Huskrrrr]

Trust, but verify?

[dfwgator]

[Larry Lucido]

“Last night her mattress dialed me...”

[tacticalogic]

Might be fun to figure out how to hack them, and make them start going off about every 15 minutes.

[dr_lew]

I feel a song coming on.

[grey_whiskers]

Paging Mrs Cruz.

Coffee meet keyboard and monitor!

...oh, and busTED.

[grey_whiskers]

LAZ!!

Get over here!

[dayglored]

> I dunno about that, but my mattress is cued to play some bow-chicka-wow-wow music

Haven't heard that one in a while...

[Trillian]

I’d be getting pinged constantly.. I have a bunch of over active little bed jumpers.