Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Yessssssss!
W000t!
I wasn’t even paying attention...
The EU is poised to ban high-powered appliances such as kettles, toasters, hair-dryers within months of Britain’s referendum vote, despite senior officials admitting the plan has brought them “ridicule”.
EU Crackdown on High Power Toasters and Tea Kettles
Brexit Now!!
BTW...what's a high powered toaster and how can I get one?
Nice tactical black...but notice it only dials to 5!
Do they make Picatinny rails or do I need special scope mounts?
And high powered tea kettles, what about them?
Perfect matching of the spareness of the language with the wistful resignation of the sentiment.
Ohnoes!!! *gasp*
No tea and toast?
(I’d rather have tea and scones with lemon curd.)
Yes.
And now it no longer works.
And Sudafed isn't the only victim..
You mean yellow-green ISN’T the normal color of your car?
We didn't know you were a musician.
Or that you had relocated to Alaska...
That was so cute! But my sis lost all her saplings to a Mama moose teaching Baby how to eat leaves. My sis lives in the Lower 48, now.
FedEx just brought the Dell back. That was quick enough to be scary. They didn’t even tell me is was coming back, so now, I’m afraid to open the box.
But it’s too late to mess with it this afternoon, so I will check it out in the morning.
And I was getting to really like this Lenovo!
One would think that eating shrubbery was instinctual.. ;-)
At least here we don't have any native moose to eat our shrubberies (the bambis manage quite well on their own, thank you).
But we do have some of these...
And here's Darksheare making coffee.. ;-)
(And on that note I'm off to ride the Little Red Ridingthing. There is still about 33% of my plot of Advanced Grass Substitute to shorten..)
Evening, all. We might get a thunderstorm.
I’m taking my cute self to bed. The chills have overtaken me. I don’t know what’s going on with that.
Anyway, I’ll have to go back to Wally’s in the morning. I forgot to get a BD card for my daughter. *sigh* My brems done fell owt.
So good night, all!
Very nice... now how to I get that to be my ringtone?
Hope you have a good night!
This has been rumbling on for a while.
It was demonstrated to the idiots that the lower power kettle burns more energy for the same job due to convection losses through the casing of the Kettle.
They are trying to bring back the 750W wait all day Kettle to replace the 3KW beauties we currently use.
May the EU die from the fleas and breath of a thousand Camels.
I use a gas stove to boil water.
Always someone with a camera!
You have five minutes to yourself,and it ends up on YouBook....Sssshheeeesh. :)
Did appear to be enjoying the sound of those chimes.
If your house runs on 110V I’m not surprised.
The Kettle is a cultural icon. That must be why the want to destroy it.
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