ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[Monkey Face]

I just checked my email, and Dell sent me a request, asking me for the best time to contact me for “assistance.” I emailed them back and told them I didn’t want “assistance,” I wanted the computer replaced or I wanted a refund, and after a few more explanatory words, asked them, “How much clearer can I be?”

It never did work right, and it is getting worse, and I WILL NOT allow them to “repair” it. It’s not even a remote option. Not now. Not after two trips to the shop and three “service” calls that never improved anything. It’s a piece of junk and it always has been, from the day I first plugged it in and booted it up.

</rant

I don’t know what to do about this infection I have. I’ve doubled up on the cranberry pills as well as the olive leaf, but I’m still feverish and having problems. So, my bed is warming up, and I will head there, soon.

If it isn’t improved by Sunday, I may have to ask for an antibiotic that is going to give me additional problems, and I really don’t want to do that. I used so many different antibiotics in the early stages of CFIDS that I was finally put on Augmentin, and that’s what they give to cancer patients. And still, I had the infection. *sigh*

[Monkey Face]

Yes. That. “Excruciating” is a good word! LOL!

[NoCmpromiz]

a point of excruciating perfection

Excellent description.. ;-)

[Tax-chick]

Drink very much more water?

[Monkey Face]

My water consumption is the same as usual, about three quarts or more a day, mostly because of the night sweats. I don’t dare NOT drink it. I always have ice cubes because my throat is most often sore (CFIDS) so ice water is good.

I have a 64 ounce drink mug from Rebel, and I fill it probably three times a day, maybe four, with ice and water. And I always have water on my night stand.

So outside of what I’m already doing, I don’t know what else to try. Like I said, if it doesn’t improve by Sunday, I will call the doctor’s office on Monday.

[NoCmpromiz]

Another warm shinesunny day. The Advanced Grass Substitute is presently blossoming in multitudes of yellow floral things. Except for the purplish blossoms on portions that are, if in any other location, considered weeds. It seems that Real Grass (as opposed to A. G. S.) grows best in the spaces designated as 'flower beds' in which location it is considered a weed..

The tulips that became bambifood are growing their leaf structures which bodes well for them surviving yet another year. The catnip is growing boisterously (after all, it is a mint, and that family never found a plot of ground that they wouldn't take over.) The daffodils have pretty much given up on blossoming and are concentrating on greengrowth, and my day lilies are growing as well. And everything considered a delicacy to bambi needs to be christened once again in a solution of putrescent egg solids and garlic (aka Liquid Fence) to provide continued bambi repellent.

The one plot of tulips that totally escaped attention from bambi and kin is flowering with out (much) damage from the freezing of last week. Just some frostbitten edges on the red ones..

Along with an opportunistic Sweet William poking up on the left front and an out of place Delphinium on the right peering out from under a tulip leaf. (The Delphiniums are behind the tulips by about three feet and the Sweet William is to the right also about three feet along the right edge of the rock border - but seeds scatter...)

[NicknamedBob]

"... at that time everything and everyone was vegetarian."

I bet that made being a predator easy.

[Slings and Arrows]

So adorable!

[NoCmpromiz]

[Gefn]

I love Maurice Moss.

Didn’t know anyone else here liked the IT Crowd. :)

[Tax-chick]

[Tax-chick]

Nice plants. Our irises are about finished. Kathleen got the tulips, but the yellow irises did not appeal to her.

[Covenantor]

Good morning on this earth day, April 22.

Machine Gun Kelly and Vladimir Lenin were born on this April day.

Coincidence?

I think not.

[Gefn]

Sibling squee!

Or resting up for the weekend? :)

[Gefn]

Tell Jake and Shannon I made gefilte fish for my mother’s Seder tonight, I wish I could get a piece to them.....it’s fish!!!!

[Tax-chick]

Enjoy your Seder! Jake and Shannon love fish.

[Tax-chick]

I live on earth today. I’m reminded of the thoughtful words of Sir Mordred, “It’s not the earth the meek inherit, it’s the dirt!” Or, as the girls would say, the soil. (They studied soil science at an impressionable age.)

[Gefn]

I like dust. Dust comes from the stars. We are made of dust, therefore are made of the stuff of stars.

Yay!

[Monkey Face]

Oh, yes...

[Monkey Face]

“A Study in Contrast.”

Cute little floofies!