Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Can you exchange it? I went to Walmart and got shorts for James, among other things.
I told them to fix it, replace it or give me back my money and they “fixed” and sent it back and I still had to make another service call. I’m thinking I’m going to email them again and tell them to put somewhere dark and moist.
“And now.....For the full speed charge towards the unsuspecting family having a peaceful Picnic!”
June (or when ever it is) is the Official Birthday. :)
David Attenborough is also 90 this week. No doubt there will be “Just one last trip to the Ngorongoro Crater”. Just for old times sake.
Bagpipes are proof that the bladder sounded better inside the sheep..
Wow. In my apt complex everyone is assigned a space,
No hassles unless it’s the weekend and someone is having a party and it’s night time and you’ve gone out and come home to find some moron has taken your space.
Thanks for clearing that up.
Bummed about Prince dead. I liked purple rain.
The chatter on FB is that Prince was a rapist and a child molester, but since I don’t follow the stars as closely as a lot of people do, I don’t know that for a fact. Just sayin’.
I was disappointed in Prince as it seems all the performances I saw him in were overshadowed by his preoccupation with displaying a phallus. That did more to make me scratch him off my list than anything else.
So I wasn’t upset at the news. We’ve lost so many great musicians this year, and it’s not even four months old, yet.
Sounded better.....and considerably less destructive.
“..... was a rapist and a child molester....”
Can’t think why ,but not surprised.
I just emailed Dell and told them to replace the computer or give me a refund because it is a piece of junk, and I would not accept any more “repairs.”
We shall see what happens next. I still have the box they shipped it to me in the last time and I asked them to authorize shipment. If they don’t it doesn’t matter. I will erase everything on here and send it back to them, anyway. GAH!!!
In my hurry to get out of Wally’s this morning, I didn’t go to the back of the store where the Restorative is kept, but I will do so in the morning, for sure!
Yep. I’d never heard anything about that, but as I said, FB was full of it and at least three posters were from Minnesota, where his “compound” was. So I dunno. I will wait for more info to trickle down.
Never heard anything bad about his personal life other than he had a bad time growing up.
Oh well. I literally went through 4 tapes of “Purple Rain” on my Walkman in college. Everyone was listening to him thst year.
Just reminds us we are all getting older.....
I wish I had my Walkman. I wonder what those things would be worth today.
The only thing that was even close to the allegations was his meeting with Sinead O’Connor. He wrote “Nothing Compares 2U,” and after she sang it, he “summoned” her to his compound. She had to “escape” at five in the morning.
Abuse? Sounds like it. Rape? Who knows?
I never had any recordings or saw any concerts, but I liked a couple of his big hit songs.
Sorry about the computer!
I picked Tom up at school at 3:00 and then came home and fell asleep. Now I can make it until Frank and Kathleen’s bedtime.
Never was a fan of Sinead.
Maybe she got spooked or something. Who knows? We weren’t there so we don’t know the real story.
I got a hoagie for supper. Last bread for a week.,I’m going to enjoy this.
ah wiel...Scots hae invented the airbag a wee bit too early, a millenium before the motorcar. Missed the whoopee cushion fad as well.
Anywhere from £40 to £250 for a mint condition unit. (Just looked) :)
If it is mint ,it wasn’t loved.
Auto Reverse .....Wow! Have never found a CD player with auto reverse, nowhere near as sophisticated. :D
The Bag pipe wasn’t invented in Scotland....but it was brought to a point of excruciating perfection in Scotland.
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