Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Maybe.
But I thought the sunbeam-location-firmware was a standard feline feature set not requiring additional external imagine devices.
At least none of the catcritters I have known over the decades needed any assistance locating the sumbeam..
Merely for economy. The motivator mechanism is caused to enter ‘hibernate’ mode to accelerate the charging process..
Woot! Your longest post ever!
And even at that, you left out, “Without my Uncle Rat’s consent, I would not marry the President!”
My uncle is a Republican.
Jake wants to go out all night again, but he wasn’t very happy this morning when it was 32 degrees. He can just stay in this time.
Loud ructions are happening across the street at the redneck reality show people’s, but no law enforcement presence yet.
Is he avuncular? I've heard that's difficult for those rascally Republicans.
That's why I go straight for curmudgeonly. It's such a natural fit.
He’s a curmudgeon in Real Life - ran for Congress twice - but he’s avuncular as an uncle. Full of investment advice which, given his wealth, I would attend if I had anything to invest other than time and effort.
I got a job lead for Tom the Son at the Stewardship Committee meeting. Krispy Kreme Donuts is having trouble hiring overnight delivery drivers who can pass a drug screen and keep a clean driving record.
Overnight driving can be hazardous. Teenagers have difficulty adapting to a different time schedule. It takes discipline and perseverance to get to bed on time.
As to investment advice; the best advice any older person can give a younger person is to appreciate what time can do with money. Money is the only thing that can time-travel.
Your older self can send money to your younger self. This is only occasionally useful, and almost always resented, as it is the older self who has to pay the money back.
But the younger self can send money through time to the older self. Now this is a practical and appreciated thing to do. Your older self will be thankful that the younger self was so wise and prudent, and will be thinking good thoughts about that young prodigy.
Essentially, the lesson to be learned is to set a small portion of one’s income aside as savings, (a future investment). This allows for good things such as the time-value of money to work in your behalf, and even brings in such useful ideas as dollar-cost averaging.
But the most beneficial part of such a program is the discipline it bestows in the younger individual, preparing him for being able to rely on himself later on, when as always the most convenient source of help can be found at the end of one’s own arm.
I did all that “time value of money” thing in accountant school and again at That Insurance Company. It gave me a headache.
:) Thank you!
Caption for 6296: “If you look at it this way....”
Yyyyeaaaaahhh... Except that Daleks conquer the stairs problem with tech enabling them to levitate.
Kitties have got some catching up to do before they vanquish the can opener.
The main thing to keep in mind is that money needs time to grow. It should be planted early in the growing season, and given plenty of long days before anyone should even think about starting to harvest it.
It grows with its usage, like all His good seeds.
Talent On LoanThe talent’s on loan,
The interest is due.
What have you done with,
What’s been given to you?
You say you’ve been busy,
And haven’t kept track?
Well, debt’s piling up,
Spend less time in the sack.
You’ve been given a challenge,
And a coin to invest,
Break it out of its hiding place,
Get it off of your chest.
The Lord is expecting,
Your time in review,
When you’re standing on stage,
Just how will you do?
Was your talent in patience,
And setting things right?
Dominoes stacked up just so,
Make an interesting sight.
Or have you helped others,
And bettered yourself?
Let’s hope you’ve not hidden,
This coin on a shelf.
Wherever you’ve traveled,
You’ve never been broke,
As long as you’ve treasured,
God’s gift in your poke.
Dispensing it wisely,
Investing for needs,
It grows with its usage,
Like all His good seeds.
NicknamedBob ... April 9, 2007
Good morning. “If you look at it this way, you’ll see that we should all go back to bed.”
I see the Late Birds were busy last night again.
I learn so much from these dissertations that seem to be equally divided between all of you — like each is assigned a certain paragraph or two, but it’s just one consecutive thought.
Definitely, I would NOT fit in. My brain would make my mouth embarrass me. And I hate when that happens!
Good morning all. I have to go get my prescription this morning, and I just really don’t want to. The move they made will increase the drive 15 minutes in each direction.
And rain is due for tomorrow and, in fact, the entire weekend. *sigh* We need it, but my joints hate it. Still, it will be a change. And we always seem to be in drought conditions. Odd for a desert, but we do have droughts.
Possibly a bit late for some of us to be planning for our retirement. But it’s certainly noticeable that young people are usually not ready for the discussion either.
We grow too soon oldt und too late schmardt.
Rain is due but you have drought? We had some rain, but the cats were inside so it’s okay.
Hope your drive goes smoothly. DP texted and said his mother is in surgery this morning. She has a determined attitude, he said.
Tom and I are going to the dentist at noon.
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