Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
What was a Cat doing with a Thermal imaging camera? The mind boggles!
Awwww.....SQUEE!!!
I will go to Walmart when I get back from the pain clinic tomorrow. And if Walgreen’s doesn’t call me by the time I get to the clinic, I will remind the folks to renew that prescription. It’s only good for six months, and I told them in the email this morning that the last refill took place in February.
So far, nothing. Gr-r-r-r...
I loathe incompetence.
Then you must just luuuuuv the U.S. Gubmint.
I always spend way too much when I let Tom the Son come to Walmart.
As much as I have to deal with certain branches of the US Gubmint, I’ve learned to hate all things associated with it. GAH!
Ohmy. I’m so glad I don’t have to shop with anyone. I have my list, I get what’s on my list (most of the time!) and I leave. Depending on how I’m feeling and how long the list is, it seldom takes me more than 35 minutes to get in and back out.
When I would shop with He Who Shall Not Be Named, he would take forever, and my back just kept hurting more and more, the longer I had to stand. I’m OK if I can walk, but standing is murder.
So I’m glad I shop alone. In fact most of what I do is alone. I think I’ve been alone for about 85% of my life. (What a claim to fame!)
I think I’ve been pregnant about 85% of my life.
You must have been using alternating ovaries.
LOL!
I’m sure it feels that way! Oh my goodness! What a thought! :o])
And now, for my next trick, I’m going to bed. I’ve been up since 0300 PDT and it’s beginning to drain my brems.
See all y’all back here tomorrow-day.
And the humidity is up, so I’ve been pretty drenched, all day. NOT a good feeling. I’ll let the flannel sheets absorb some of that, for now...
Ta
Hope you have a good night. I have to go to the Stewardship Committee meeting.
Cub Scouts? Or Church?
Church. The Cubs sell popcorn.
Perhaps the Clintons have heard that the good die young.
They may be trying for immortality.
Tom the Son and I are going to the dentist tomorrow.
Seeking hidden rodents?
More likely looking for T-c's sunbeans.
If cats had thumbs they'd just hitchhike to a spot to lay down.
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