Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
That will teach you not to post UNNNNGH!
LOL!
LOL! I guess I deserved THAT! :o])
Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Make it stop!!!!!!!
Merle Haggard passed away today — it was his 79th birthday.
Dang. So many entertainers so far this year...
And yet the Clintons sail on.
I ask you, how is that fair?
Not even in the slightest.
I just figure God must want a new bunch of entertainers, because He sure called a lot home this year. Our loss. :o[
Well, according to Mark Twain, God made man because he was disappointed in the monkey. So He’s got all the entertainment he needs right down here.
O'er here red cars attract the attention of the LEO's with greater regularity than any other colour car.
ESPECIALLY if it is being driven by a kiddie-punk-looking creature. And with XTRA attention if equipped with a fartcan muffler.. ;-)
That’s caused by their sunglasses...
Don’t have any idea how, but thats what I’m sticking with. :)
In this instance a DSN entry was just as valid as a DNS entry.. ;-)
(You couldn’t get in if you put the ip addy in the hosts file, or didn’t you try? That’s how I got in.. I haven’t gone back and commented out that line, so if/when FR’s ip addy ever changes I’ll know it right away. ;-)
Will post some tomorrow. There may be quite a number to sift through...quite a number...
You haz a problink wit fish eye pudding, eh?
Would that be the LEO’s sunglasses..
Or the kiddie-punk-looking creature’s sunglasses, er, I mean, shades?
After all, sunglasses can be, um, polarizing..
Just any will do, as long as they are red! LOL!
Oh, that stuff is so stinking gross, I’ll have to give the rest of it away, because (especially) after your comment, I won’t be able to choke it down! LOL!
Oh, too bad.
According to Wiki, he had a really rough life when he was younger.
Such a talent!
Hard living got a lot of those old performers long before they were 79.
I have to go to Walmart again.
Can see why Windows where invented.
Having this incredible transparent product and no idea what to do with it.
The Window made convenient safe storage for glass whilst a use was found....then a eureka moment occurred.
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