Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Baby black panther!!!!
Squee!
If I get a new kitty I shall try that
LoL,
The Can opener........the same insurmountable problem as a flight of steps to a Dalek.
Good Morning to you All !,
There appears to be a major defect in the design of the interwebz.
One DNS server in Colorado looses its Marbles and the entire world becomes cut off from FR.
Surely Chicago could have rerouted via Seattle or something?
(Note to iPug users)
If you removed the Safari cookie for FR you where still able to read ,but not post.
Imagine having a LOL to post and no way of doing so.....agony, pure agony.
DNS server in Colorado, huh. Must have gotten a Rocky Mountain high..
(I changed my hosts file so I could get in.)
Yep, Denver CO.
It follows an amazing 30 server roller coaster ride via Spain and NY, just be brought to a grinding halt in Denver. Hope the electrons are having a good time and send a postcard.
Morning TC,
Have stumbled into another motor museum, as you do.
P-ing with rain and there is source of chrome and paint up the road....it happens. :)
Thank you TC for all the kitties.
I took a picture of the kitty with me.
This observation room is tiny and windowless. I have a headache.
You don’t realize how nice a window is until you don’t have one.
No, I know it wasn’t just me.
FB was full of disgruntled FReepers.
But it’s all better now!!! YAY!!!
I had a cat who ate green peppers...the late Great PV.
I like windows. So does Jake! He was out all night.
I loved my kitchen window in the studio apartment, as it faced south. I have no kitchen window, now. I traded it for a bedroom. *sigh*
It’s going to be 87 today. But breezy, and colder tomorrow. With rain for the next five days. :o|
I have to go get my Gabapentin. I was going to go to the pain clinic today to get the new prescription, but I don’t dare get that far from home. Tomorrow, then, for that.
Wow. Who knew?
!
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