Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Morning, cat ladies.
I got Sally off to Missionaries of the Poor with a lot of food. Next we’ll have a few people over to practice for Mass tomorrow. It’s raining.
I blame Darks.
It’s been raining on and off here,
What did you do to Stratton?
Welp. The kitchen sink drains are running clear, now, thanks to vinegar and baking soda, and I’m having a Second Breakfast of ham and Swiss on rye.
The day is absolutely stellar, so far. Nothing in the blue-blue sky but contrails, criss-crossing it WAYYYY up! No breeze.
I’m hoping my pills come today. They were shipped from CA, took a shortcut through AZ, and should be out for delivery today. When I have enough pills ($200+) worth, UPS brings them in a day or two. When I’m just getting a few ($100+) they are sent FedEx “SmartPost” and that takes FOR. EVER!
The floor mats look brand new, now, so with the exception of running out of Armor-All, the truck looks nice! I am so grateful for that thing! I was truly getting too old to walk to Walmart any more. That just took so much out of me. Now, I feel almost normal! (Whatever that is!)
Excellent news!
We had a successful choir practice. Next we will take Elen out to lunch because it’s her birthday.
Happy Birthday, Elen!!! <3
Man alive , I heard that from here...and the echo!
Morning. :)
Oh, I see...Fair enough. :D
And wouldn’t you know, when three of us were sitting in the ramada, the wind came up...
I was so glad I wore my jacket!
I had been listening to the Conference, but the computer kept buffering and stopping the live feed. That is SO distracting! I’m hoping this afternoon’s session isn’t like that. Of course, when I get my copy of the Conference Ensign Magazine, the talks will all be in it. I wish I could afford the CD’s...
He got lost shortly after the carb throttle plate screws and half of the shaft got ingested. I haven’t been brave enough to pull the head and see if he’s stuck in there somewhere with the carb remnants...
No, no, no!
Those are chemtrails.
Just ask Alex Jones..
With the chem involved being water vapor; yes, indeedy.
Awww! I guess cats really do like to be pampered.
Shhhh!!
Be vewry vewry qwiet. You’ll disturb the conspiracy theorinuts..
Poor Stratton...”So sad to die when one is so young and cute.”...Pogo Possum
Well, the skies are still blue and the temp is still sweet, but I’m staying indoors for the duration. I will wander about tomorrow morning, just because Charlie is so interesting...
“conspiracy theorinuts..”
If you’ve got a conspiracy , and know one else is listening.
If you can ping them, you can tell the: “FreeRepublic Conspiracy Rapid Reaction Force”.
They will rip the P out of you faster than anyone else on the Internet....or your money back.
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