Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Rained here, too. Epic Fail Lawn Service mowed the front yard several days ago, but he’s going to have quite a slog when he finally addresses the back. Fortunately for him, we have a new mower, since the repairman for the old one died.
It will be several weeks at least before I decide to utilize the mow-em-down function of Red Ridingthing. They are still threatening a freeze for early next week and in the process have lowered Tuesday night’s low from 21 to an even worser 17 of those divisions of the Fahrenheit scale..
And of course the plants, having survived the last venture into below freezing temps, have really become sproutingly active.
That used to happen all the time in Oklahoma. My bulbs would come up, and then they would freeze. I never did get blooms on the freesias.
Every day is Monday; except Friday.
But wait! Today is Friday, so nevermind!
April Fool!
I met an elderly acquaintance in Walmart this afternoon. He told me every day is Saturday for him.
I know what he means. But I of course go further.
For me, every day is a cause of celebration. Each day becomes ... well, here; I've said it before:
Each Day Becomes ...
Each day is "Happy New Year,"
With resolutions made,
Our auld acquaintance hov’ring near,
And fervent prayers prayed!
The world begins anew each morn,
With a marvelous happening!
My eyelids open up and born,
The jeweled world of everything!
With neonatal sense of sight,
I look about the world,
The flagging spirits of the night,
Now have their flags unfurled!
My life begins again, again,
My heart restarts its clock,
I feel like I’m a lad of ten,
And no door has a lock!
Adventure comes to visit me,
With every hour upright,
Each day becomes a victory,
Until I’m claimed by night!
NicknamedBob . . . December 31, 2005
Moosie, you might want to check in HERE to see if there's any slander or libel or other forms of character assassination going on..
Thanks for the Heads up ,NoC.
The thread has been thoroughly inspected by our legal department, here at Frostbite Falls, and found to be acceptable under the classification of Humour.
However a few people will be kept a close eye on from now on, particularly if they are found to be carrying Cheese.
:)
;>)
LOL!
Fair enough. :)
LoL,
love the shower cap. :)
Wow. Indonesia?
Awww....squee!
I slept fairly well last night, probably because I kept busy yesterday, which is often hard to do. There just isn’t that much that I feel well enough to tackle. However, I will soon have to force myself to get things done, like getting the flat tubs out from under the bed and sorting though the yarns. An all day job.
The bathroom is warming up, and I hope I’m awake enough to remember to reach for the right things, and do the right things. A couple of day ago, I forgot to wash my hair (just rinsed it well) and went to use toothpaste on my skin lesions. Ha-ha!
At least the kitchen is clean.
I just changed my appointment calendar to April and found that I have an appointment at the pain clinic on a Monday morning. I have to reschedule it. I can’t afford to miss those appointments or they won’t give me a new prescription for morphine.
Squee!
Ditto with the shower cap.
See 6113
Cutest wet baby ever!
Good morning ladies.
Happy Caturday
Happy Caturday to you, too, Gefn!!
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