Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Somehow he just looked like he needed a Drink of Water after swallowing that Combat Prawn.
Denial eh?
First sign of Special Powers, that is.
:)
That one beaver pond in my area was teeming with wildlife. Once I saw a quick Kingie zoomed in under a Great Blue Heron and snatched his lunch. Blue streak zoomie....Swear he was laughing after the meal. Had a pair of Ospreys that patrolled this pind as wellbas others nearby.
A real war zone.
Aran isle sweaters.
Of course it’s Irish, anyone else would stick a name tag in the back. :)
Good Shot, that man!
Nice to see the Kingfishers making a comeback form near extinction, here.
They and the Grebe where involved with the adornment of Ladies Hats. It wasn’t voluntary donation, sadly.
Well, Ganag, I just got a summons for jury duty.
I don’t know why I never got called when I was young and healthy, but this is the second time I’ve had to turn it down. Last time, it was disability, and this time, it’s age.
It would have been fun, I think.
That’s a shame.
Just turn up smartly dressed, an absolute guarantee to be sent home.
With age comes wisdom....most jury’s need a bit of that.
Do they pay for your services?
Yes, they pay for the Duty: $40 a day and $.35 per mile if you live over 30 miles from court. I’m only 15 miles from the Justice Center.
They probably wouldn’t like me, anyway, because I believe in the death penalty and the 2nd Amendment.
Still, it might have been fun. And I can always use extra money!
I just got a text from Gefn. She is pretty wiped out from the pain, so I told her we would pray for her, burn incense or otherwise ask the gods to take care of her.
Is Donald Trump?
Don’t turn it down.
Ask if you can please be assigned to a capital murder trial so you can give someone the chamber.
That should keep you off any jury without you having to be against doing your duty.
Ol’ Wiggy ? LoL.
‘We can neither confirm nor deny the loss or escape from our facility of a “Trump”.’
My daughter has done that three times. It works!
The first time I was called I took a copy of the latest Rush Limbaugh book. I was not selected.
Rumor has it that his greatest power is the kinds of things he can fit there, including his head.
Which is why I suggested he might be a typical American voter.
$40 a day..
Wonder if that $40 is national, ‘cause NY paid me the same. So $40 for sitting around for 4 hours - $10 per hour for doin’ nuttin’.. (just like a government job.. ;-)
If you feel up to it and you’re pretty sure you aren’t liberal enough for them, go make a quick $40!
They don’t pay you until you are selected, so if you go and wait three days to get called, then are dismissed, you don’t get paid.
Sez so, right on the form.
That’s how he scales the fish.. ;-)
On another note, there is this white-looking fluffystuff falling from the cloud cover.
Probably an omen of evil.
Or something.
(I did go out to the outshed Saturday and had a discussion with my Olde Deere - remember it failed to start when last needed - and of course it started first pull.. I made an adjustment to the auger engaged switch to provide more wipe on the contact point. In other words, I bent the sucker with my trusty needlenose. )
LOL! <3 :o])
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