Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I love that!!! I had to save it, this year!
Thanks!
I took the opportunity to say, "Thanks for the reminder!"
I’ve been married very nearly 34 years. Love IS Greek to me.
I read an article that pointed out the Democratic party was run by old white women. The author pointed out that Bernie was an honorary old white woman.
Yes, but — if you give a mouse a cookie...
You think that I don’t even mean
A single word I say
It’s only words
And words are all I have
To take your heart away
WOW - I didn’t know that was a Bee Gees song. I thought I remembered Roy Clark doing it on Hee Haw.
Yet another reason to avoid the friendly skies.
http://nypost.com/2015/12/14/homeless-squatters-are-taking-over-laguardia-airport/
Inchworm is measuring the marigolds.
Inchworm better be careful he doesn’t get eaten by a kitteh.
Oh, gross.
That's why Michael Valentine Smith had so much trouble translating "Grok" from the Martian.
Robert A. Heinlein, "Stranger in a Strange Land"
In alien languages and cultures, just as on Earth, the shorter and simpler words and ideas are always the most complicated.
Then of course there’s Karaoke Night at that Mosque on Pennsylvania Ave.
Lie an everlasting Lie
A lie could keep you far from me
Don’t ever let me find you here
‘Cause that would bring a tear to me
This nation’s lost it’s glory
We’ll start a brand new story
Now my prize right now there’ll be
No other time and I can show you
How my prize
Talk in everlasting words
And dedicate them all to me
And I will rule you all my life
With welfare that comes all from me
You know that I don’t even mean
A single word I say
It’s only words, and words are all
I have to steal your soul away
-Barack Obama
Wonder if Hopalong Ginsberg would record it...
Today's kitteh will let you know when you can use your bed.
When you get the DT’s seek treatment...........
Good morning!
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