Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I’ve got some rubbing alchohol if it’s still saurus.
No, I'm making no sense today, too.
Thanks. Just don't poke around in the closets. Sometimes they poke back.
I like your main page. Have you flown them all?
I never made it past a T-37 but I always wanted a C-5.
I fix F-16’s.
I have two hours behind the stick of a D Model.
I’m not certain that’s how it works.
Test complete, we now return you to your Broadcast in progress.....
Waycoo!
It’s a Sinclair brontosaurus. I guess now it is an antique.
“I can’t tell a good didgeridoo player from a bad one.”
The good ones have the circular breathing part down.
Which is still way better than the circular reasoning of our politicians...
Today's tiny kitten takes naps in Madrid, Spain.
And I take showers in the bathroom.
Good morning. I sound like Froggie the Gremlin.
My throat is sore.
I’m going to go take that shower and see how far I can get before someone realizes it’s missing.
Good morning. We’re planning to go to the gym, if we can get enough people moving.
Every day starts off so badly, but I do not accept that I’m doing them an injustice by expecting them to get out of bed in the morning (or even the afternoon).
Hang tough, T-c. It will pay off for them in the future, and you can pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
I don’t know what I’m going to do today. Dishes for sure, and maybe I will change the bedding. It depends on how my back feels. My sciatica is acting up again, with this weather, so I will no doubt need and extra morphine pill. I don’t know how I functioned without that stuff!
DP and I, Elen, and Sally are going to see “The Nutcracker” this afternoon. My friend Joann’s daughter is in it. That reminds me, I need to look up the location and see how long it will take to get there.
Igor and I took the kids to see the Nutcracker by the Oakland Ballet and Oakland Symphony Orchestra. It was the second time I had seen it; the first time was in Salt Lake City.
The kids remembered it for a long time. I wanted to go see the Bolshoi perform Swan Lake, but couldn’t get tickets. What a disappointment!
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