You know it's hot when....................
Posted on 08/02/2013 5:25:10 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
IBTP
Top 5!
Always wanted to do that! :-)
Dumb luck on my part
Topten wewt
Top ten!
the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
the cows are giving evaporated milk.
the trees are whistling for the dogs.
you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
you’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible
you've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man
the swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra tasty crispy"
the strawberries are ripe, and the cab drivers are even riper
your pool water starts to boil in the sun
the hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are actually hot
pigs complain about sweating like fat humans
a scalding hot shower still cools you down
people walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames
a $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants
the politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves
you need a spatula to remove your clothing
you wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather
you are sweating in both directions -- up and down!
you are sitting inside reading these jokes
your brother's braces make blisters on his lips
when the trees are whistling for the dogs.
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in August it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
Summer in Iraq, only the temp got down to about 85. Brrrr!
TOP TWENTY! Been a while.....
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TGIF!
and by the way we are going through a cold spell here in Hoosierland
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a saloon and sat down to drink a Beer.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said “Who owns the big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, “I do....Why?”
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead !”
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.
The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, “Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better.”
Tonto said, “Sure, Kemosabe” and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger turned to the saloon to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, “Who owns that big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, “I do, what’s wrong with him this time?”
The cowboy looks him in the eye and says,
(...I JUST LOVE THIS PART....)
“Nothing, but you left your injun runnin”.
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