you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible
you've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man
the swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra tasty crispy"
the strawberries are ripe, and the cab drivers are even riper
your pool water starts to boil in the sun
the hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are actually hot
pigs complain about sweating like fat humans
a scalding hot shower still cools you down
people walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames
a $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants
the politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves
you need a spatula to remove your clothing
you wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather
you are sweating in both directions -- up and down!
you are sitting inside reading these jokes
your brother's braces make blisters on his lips
when the trees are whistling for the dogs.
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in August it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
I have no air conditioning. I go with my wife to the mega supermarket so I can stand in front of the open freezer units and tell my 4 year old daughter unbelievable tales of air conditioned homes in America.