Chinese
Japanese
American knees
Posted on 07/06/2012 4:28:38 PM PDT by InvisibleChurch
What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common?
Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.
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Why is there no Aspirin in the rain forest?
Because it wouldn't be financially viable to try and sell pharmaceuticals in the vastly unpopulated rain forest.
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Yo momma so fat she went on the Subway diet and is now exercising regularly to lose weight.
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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have the same amount of money
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
To whom.
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Whats green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
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Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Dave.
Dave who?
Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
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Why was six afraid of seven?
It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
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Bob: Hey Jim, if you were a caveman, you would die.
Jim: Why?
Bob: Cause everybody dies.
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Q: What's the difference between a mountain goat and a pitching wedge?
A: A lot.
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A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. Unfortunately, the bar was closed due to the poor economy. Luckily there was an Applebee's across the street and they were able to save money with half-priced appetizers.
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What is invisible and smells like carrots?
Invisible carrots.
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How many illegal immigrants does it take to change a lightbulb?
Why should his legal status matter at all in this situation?
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What did the Episcopalian minister say at the AA meeting?
Alcohol is ruining my life.
A stick.
A Buddhist calls in an order for a pizza. The guy on the phone asks him what toppings he’d like and the Buddhist says, “Make me one with everything.”
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To get to the other sty. |
Package tape?
That seems reasonable.
True; A farmer calls in an ad for the local paper. It read
FOR SALE 2026 pigs. ‘
The farmer was selling 2 sowa and twenty six pigs.
That would be applicable as long as the the tape was colored brown.
Q. How can you tell there’s an elephant in your refrigerator?
A. Foot prints in the butter.
Q. How can you tell there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
A. You can hear them talking.
Q. How can you tell there are three elephants in your refrigerator?
A The refrigerator door is ajar.
Q. How many elephants can you fit into a Volkswagen Cabriolet?
A. 4....but you have to have the top down.
Q. How can you tell there are four elephants in your refrigerator?
A. There’s a Volkswagen Cabriolet parked in front of your house.
That’s it folks...try the veal, it’s the best in town.
Chinese
Japanese
American knees
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Four people get on at the first stop. Seven people get on at the next stop and three people get off. Twelve people get on at the next stop and two people get off. Ten people get on at the next stop and five people get off. Six people get on at the next stop and half the people who got on at the previous stop get off. What is the bus driver's name? |
Same newspaper, different day
An article gave all the details of an local girls who had been sexually attacked. It was followed by a story about a large social gathering...
The headline between the two:
A GOOD TIME WAS HAD BY ALL!
I’m not going to tell you my name.
Words that rhyme are important. Poets use them often.
A priest, a giraffe, and a pygmy walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them, and says, “What is this, some sort of f***ing JOKE???!?”
A traveling salesman’s car breaks down late at night in front of a farm house. The salesman goes up and knocks on the door and asks the farmer if he could spend the night until the local mechanic can come out and fix it the next day.
The farmer says, “Sure, but you’ll have to share a room with my gay son.”
The salesman says, “Wait a minute.....I’m in the wrong joke.”
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A baby seal walked into a club.
A baby seal walks into a club...
There are only 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don’t.
Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac? He stayed awake all night wondering if there really IS a dog.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they’re ugly...and they stink.
Obama
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