Posted on 01/16/2012 1:48:07 PM PST by Lazamataz
ON this Martin Luther King day, it is customary to review the progress African Americans have made in striding towards a level of equality with the majority races.
But I wish to speak of the unsung heros of the Civil Rights movement: Velociraptors.
I, as a velociraptor in a wool suit, have experienced HORRIFIC discrimination since the day I first poked my snout out of the stout eggshell that served as my womb.
The level of discrimination a dromaeosaurid theropod dinosaur from the Cretaceous faces, is unreal. Hell, I walk onto a MARTA train ...and everyone screams and runs, and MARTA police are ALWAYS shooting at me.
Good thing I hunt in packs. If not for my friends, the cops would have gotten me a long time ago.
And as far as jobs?? FORGET IT. Let's leave aside the fact that I usually devour the interviewer in the first 30 seconds, shall we? The fact remains: I *NEVER* GET THE OFFER.
Housing is impossible to acquire for a 'raptor. Every time I fill out a lease, it's always the same 'stereotypical' questions: "Have you eaten any of your neighbors?" This is not even considered a discriminatory question under the Fair Housing Act, yet it is clearly directed at those of us of the Thunder Lizard Persuasion.
Because of the housing discrimination I face, I must live in the woods, and as you can imagine, there are far fewer people to eat there. Location, for a velociraptor, is everything.
Is there any federal aid available for us? I should think not. NOT ONE BILL in the last 100 Congresses have been written to address the special difficulties faced by velociraptors in wool suits. Hell, I cannot even enter a federal building without the National Guard being called, and this -- obviously -- prevents me from obtaining scholorships, Welfare, or even Food Stamps.
And we marched, back in the 1960's, right alongside the Ray Innis' and the Jesse Jacksons' and the Martin Luther Kings'. We were leaping on police detachments with 20-foot vertical leaps, tearing heads from bodies, and disemboweling police with a single swipe of our vicious claws. Yet are we given ANY credit for helping minorities have a voice in America?
We need to talk about the discrimination shown towards velociraptors in wool suits. I hope this article can open that dialogue.
Americans LOVE raptors:
Just because they have a few hundred million more years to evolve, they are considered 'more evolved'.
Pshaw.
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Excellent advice! I think we may be the only two people on this thread who are taking this issue seriously. Some of the comments are actually hurtful. :(
Who’s your tailor? I’d like to meet him.
But - sad to say - your hair is not perfect.
Oh darn. There I go again mixing my metaphoric monsters.
this is hughes..
And I have wept, inside, prior -- of course -- to leaping on some unsuspecting human and rending him limb from limb.
Oooooo.... bad luck, that.
I ate him.
OMG, WHO IS THAT BEAUTY????!?
I knew it! You’re sensitive and caring. And very well dressed.
Where did you get the picture of my cat??!?
Switch to a Tuxedo.
Velociraptors are the most sensitive of all the dinosaurs.
You have my rapt-attention.
Implying that some of us just aren't raptor enough. Next thing, you're going to accuse me of acting mammalian.
I've heard that filthy line just too often.
by any chance are “a one eyed one horned flying purple eater?”
by any chance are you “a one eyed one horned flying purple eater?”
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