Muslim Cleric's Warning: Cucumbers Too Sexy for Women

Fox News ^ | December 8, 2011 | Foxnews.com

[Rytwyng]

An Islamic cleric living in Europe reportedly has warned Muslim women not to get too close to bananas, cucumbers or other produce -- to avoid having “sexual thoughts.”

The unnamed cleric, whose directive was featured in an article in el-Senousa, a religious publication, purportedly said that if women wanted to eat these foods, a third party -- preferably a male related to them, such as their father or husband -- should cut the items into small pieces before serving...

[DeFault User]

Yo, you a cukehold, Hussein!

[Carthego delenda est]

“that’s funny because Brasilian slang for a willie is “peruzinha”

more or less...”affectionate little turkey””

LOL!

A Christmas turkey is ripe for aging about a week in advance.

[MadMax, the Grinning Reaper]

In Islamia, “first they came for the cucumber.” Then they came for the .....”

[Slings and Arrows]

[count-your-change]

The Muslim women responded that having their husbands cut up the cucumbers would be fine as the husbands never, ever caused their wives to have sexy thoughts..

[Bratch]

[muir_redwoods]

Maybe gherkins are closer to what they can expect

[leaning conservative]

Quite funny w/out the music. beyond thought.................

[GOPJ]

This is the worse case of ***** envy I have ever heard of.

Cucumber envy?

[aces]

The cleric should not walk outside, if he see’s a hole in a tree...OMG...tempted by all holes..quick plug all holes everywhere..wouldn’t want to destroy the earth to avoid temptation..Maybe should keep camel close to relieve anxiety.

Islam is for weak minded sinners who want to tell themselves they are good in their perversions..it’s everyone elses fault..

[TheOldLady]

"...cut the items into small pieces before serving..."

Islam: the religion of pieces

They're always cutting people and things into pieces.

[Protect the Bill of Rights]

When my now 30 year old son cooked his first turkey he thought it was one. I had to explain to my then 29 year old son it was a neck.

He gets it from his Dad’s side :)

[Carpe Cerevisi]

[Liberty Valance]

You're doin' it wrong.

[MinuteGal]

I'm Chiquita Banana and I've come to say
I guess I'm looked at in a sexy way
I'm long and curved and have a fleshy hue
One look at me....no telling what you'll do
I'm just too hot to look at from the Persian Gulf to Turkey
So when you put me in the fridge please wrap me in a burkhy

Leni

[null and void]

[JulieRNR21]

LOL.....thanks for giving me a big laugh just when I needed it!

Leni: You are the “Poet Laureate” of Free Republic!

[JulieRNR21]

LOL.....thanks for giving me a big laugh just when I needed it!

Leni: You are the “Poet Laureate” of Free Republic!

[BlueLancer]

I recall reading one of the Flashman books by George MacDonald Fraser, one of the many of the series that was set in Afghanistan. In it, an Afghani princess confides to Colonel Harry Flashman that Moslem men are clueless in that they know that their wives are always buying cucumbers, but there's never any in the salads.

That line never fails to set me laughing ...

[dfwgator]

I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?