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Muslim Cleric's Warning: Cucumbers Too Sexy for Women
Fox News ^
| December 8, 2011
| Foxnews.com
Posted on 12/18/2011 10:19:26 PM PST by Rytwyng
An Islamic cleric living in Europe reportedly has warned Muslim women not to get too close to bananas, cucumbers or other produce -- to avoid having sexual thoughts.
The unnamed cleric, whose directive was featured in an article in el-Senousa, a religious publication, purportedly said that if women wanted to eat these foods, a third party -- preferably a male related to them, such as their father or husband -- should cut the items into small pieces before serving...
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: cucumbers; islam; napl; sex; women
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To: Rytwyng
Yo, you a cukehold, Hussein!
To: wardaddy
“thats funny because Brasilian slang for a willie is peruzinha
more or less...affectionate little turkey”
LOL!
A Christmas turkey is ripe for aging about a week in advance.
To: Rytwyng
In Islamia, “first they came for the cucumber.” Then they came for the .....”
To: Titan Magroyne; ApplegateRanch; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; ...
24
posted on
12/18/2011 11:25:05 PM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: Rytwyng
The Muslim women responded that having their husbands cut up the cucumbers would be fine as the husbands never, ever caused their wives to have sexy thoughts..
25
posted on
12/19/2011 12:52:55 AM PST
by
count-your-change
(You don't have to be brilliant, not being stupid is enough.)
To: Rytwyng
26
posted on
12/19/2011 1:05:02 AM PST
by
Bratch
To: Rytwyng
Maybe gherkins are closer to what they can expect
27
posted on
12/19/2011 2:12:41 AM PST
by
muir_redwoods
(No wonder this administration favors abortion; everything they have done is an abortion)
To: jdsteel
Quite funny w/out the music. beyond thought.................
28
posted on
12/19/2011 3:28:47 AM PST
by
leaning conservative
(snow coming, school cancelled, yayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!)
To: notpoliticallycorewrecked
This is the worse case of ***** envy I have ever heard of. Cucumber envy?
29
posted on
12/19/2011 3:40:22 AM PST
by
GOPJ
(Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, Than a fatted calf with hatred - Proverbs 15)
To: Rytwyng
The cleric should not walk outside, if he see’s a hole in a tree...OMG...tempted by all holes..quick plug all holes everywhere..wouldn’t want to destroy the earth to avoid temptation..Maybe should keep camel close to relieve anxiety.
Islam is for weak minded sinners who want to tell themselves they are good in their perversions..it’s everyone elses fault..
30
posted on
12/19/2011 3:46:51 AM PST
by
aces
To: Rytwyng; Slings and Arrows
"...cut the items into small pieces before serving..."Islam: the religion of pieces
They're always cutting people and things into pieces.
31
posted on
12/19/2011 3:49:46 AM PST
by
TheOldLady
(FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
To: Carthego delenda est
When my now 30 year old son cooked his first turkey he thought it was one. I had to explain to my then 29 year old son it was a neck.
He gets it from his Dad’s side :)
To: Rytwyng
To: Rytwyng
You're doin' it wrong.
34
posted on
12/19/2011 5:21:57 AM PST
by
Liberty Valance
(Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
To: Rytwyng; seenenuf; mickie; seekthetruth; aculeus; dighton; flaglady47; oswegodeee; Chigirl 26; ...
I'm Chiquita Banana and I've come to say
I guess I'm looked at in a sexy way
I'm long and curved and have a fleshy hue
One look at me....no telling what you'll do
I'm just too hot to look at from the Persian Gulf to Turkey
So when you put me in the fridge please wrap me in a burkhy
Leni
To: muir_redwoods
36
posted on
12/19/2011 6:16:18 AM PST
by
null and void
(Day 1064 of America's ObamaVacation from reality [Heroes aren't made, Frank, they're cornered...])
To: MinuteGal
LOL.....thanks for giving me a big laugh just when I needed it!
Leni: You are the “Poet Laureate” of Free Republic!
37
posted on
12/19/2011 6:48:01 AM PST
by
JulieRNR21
(*OMG ...means Obama Must Go in 2012!)
To: MinuteGal
LOL.....thanks for giving me a big laugh just when I needed it!
Leni: You are the “Poet Laureate” of Free Republic!
38
posted on
12/19/2011 6:52:51 AM PST
by
JulieRNR21
(*OMG ...means Obama Must Go in 2012!)
To: Rytwyng
I recall reading one of the Flashman books by George MacDonald Fraser, one of the many of the series that was set in Afghanistan. In it, an Afghani princess confides to Colonel Harry Flashman that Moslem men are clueless in that they know that their wives are always buying cucumbers, but there's never any in the salads.
That line never fails to set me laughing ...
39
posted on
12/19/2011 6:52:56 AM PST
by
BlueLancer
(Secede?! Y'all better just be thankful we don't invade ...)
To: Rytwyng
I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?
40
posted on
12/19/2011 6:55:52 AM PST
by
dfwgator
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