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Post some good jokes

Posted on 03/29/2009 7:41:27 PM PDT by A_cool_guy

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: comicrelief; freepun; humor; jokes; molassesmiasma; monkeyface; monkeyfacerules; penguinhumor; sionnsar; trolltimer; undeadthreadapril; zot; zotemifyougotem; zotthenewbie
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To: fanfan

*checked*
Nope, unfortunately I don’t meet the requirements.


1,601 posted on 04/17/2009 2:26:54 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Pippin; fanfan

No fair! No Fair!
;-)


1,602 posted on 04/17/2009 2:27:24 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Pippin

That’s all you need, Kiddo! Even if you were born in the US!


1,603 posted on 04/17/2009 2:27:29 PM PDT by fanfan (God, Bless America, please.)
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To: Lady Jag

Not really, but in your case we’ll make an exception.


1,604 posted on 04/17/2009 2:28:31 PM PDT by fanfan (God, Bless America, please.)
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To: Darksheare

Oh well.

Maybe you’ll meet a nice Canadian girl.....oh, wait.

*sigh*


1,605 posted on 04/17/2009 2:29:58 PM PDT by fanfan (God, Bless America, please.)
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To: Darksheare; fanfan
Eh, Darks!

I'm so terribly sorry! ;o)

1,606 posted on 04/17/2009 2:36:06 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: fanfan

LOL!
Well, the missus does say I’m up for sale, no returns.


1,607 posted on 04/17/2009 2:36:42 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: fanfan; Darksheare

Er, fanfan?<p. did you just propose to Darks ;o)


1,608 posted on 04/17/2009 2:36:54 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: Pippin; fanfan

That’s what I get for having a bunch of Krauts, a Frenchy, and a rowdy Scot or three in the ancestry.
Oh, and a tea totaller Brit.
*sigh*


1,609 posted on 04/17/2009 2:37:44 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: fanfan

You are smart to figure out that I’m an exception!


1,610 posted on 04/17/2009 2:40:46 PM PDT by Lady Jag (Communism - Hezbollah - Al Qaeda - Obama - Stone Age - CHAOS)
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To: Pippin; Tax-chick
"I’m not going to try to post it until I have somebody look at it to see whyat is wrong with it that it got rejected twice because of grammer!"

I can't imagine.

Would you like to e-mail it to me, or did you want to hand me a printed copy to go over?

1,611 posted on 04/17/2009 2:49:05 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (Panicked at seeing Scarecrow twitching and shaking, Dorothy unplugs the teleprompter. "Uh, um, er .")
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To: fanfan

I wish I really could qualify for dual citizenship. A Canadian passport is still safer than a U.S. one, isn’t it?


1,612 posted on 04/17/2009 2:50:13 PM PDT by Lady Jag (Communism - Hezbollah - Al Qaeda - Obama - Stone Age - CHAOS)
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To: Darksheare; fanfan
Kind of a rowdy growd inhabiting your family tree, eh?

fanfan, Mom was born in Canada, came to the US when she married my dad, I was born in Indiana. Mom never became an American citizen. Do I still qualify?

1,613 posted on 04/17/2009 2:51:06 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: NicknamedBob; Tax-chick

I have a problem with hitting two keys at the same time!


1,614 posted on 04/17/2009 2:52:18 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: A_cool_guy

A Democrat High In The Air

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and Replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level.. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I’m still lost.. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You’re in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s MY fault.”


1,615 posted on 04/17/2009 2:54:09 PM PDT by abigailsmybaby (No taxation without lubrication.)
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To: Lady Jag

I could but US government policy is really tough about dual citizenship


1,616 posted on 04/17/2009 2:56:12 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: NicknamedBob

I’ll E-Mail the first chapter to you as it is finished uless I have to make further revisions.


1,617 posted on 04/17/2009 2:57:40 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: fanfan

I didn’t know Canadian needed waking up.


1,618 posted on 04/17/2009 2:59:52 PM PDT by Monkey Face (If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.)
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To: Pippin

Since when? All my quasi-Irish friends have been going dual without challenge.


1,619 posted on 04/17/2009 3:00:20 PM PDT by Lady Jag (Communism - Hezbollah - Al Qaeda - Obama - Stone Age - CHAOS)
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To: Pippin; fanfan

Lessee... there’s the Steele family who lived in Dingman’s Ferry before it was Dingman’s Ferry, while it was still ‘indian territory’.
And they didn’t have any problems...
(?)
How’d they manage that feat at the time, I dunno.


1,620 posted on 04/17/2009 3:02:29 PM PDT by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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