Post some good jokes

[A_cool_guy]

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy

[gathersnomoss]

Safe.

[Pippin]

Q: What do you call an optimologist and a dentist?

A: A "Paradox"!

[Darksheare]

Sleep voting, zombie style.

[Tax-chick]

You could vote absentee.

[Darksheare]

“Cognitio ex absentia”
(I think)

[Tax-chick]

It works for all the Chicago zombies.

[Darksheare]

New York as well.
“Warning, mind is on autopilot, nothing can go wrogn..wrogn..wrogn...wrogn..”

[NicknamedBob]

"You could vote absentee."

Isn't that what we got, an absentee President? Without the hand of George Soros guiding him, or the ever-present teleprompter, he can't even vote present.

He claimed he was unaware of any "TEA" Parties. I suppose he hadn't been told what to think about them.

[sionnsar]

Afternoon all. Arrived in Denver in good order.

Going to meet up with my crew in a bit for dinner, and possibly also a former committee member from back in the mid-90s.

[NicknamedBob]

Better wear your lead BVDs. Not only does Denver get more sunshine, they also get more ionizing radiation.

Sushi gets cooked if it sits too long.

[HKMk23]

Not dead, yet.

Haven’t been posting, as you can tell.

Been furloughed for up to 16 weeks [YIKES!] and am scrambling to keep money coming in. So far...eeeh, so-so. Built a fence last week & did some irrigation work.

Crazy times, I’ll tell ya.

Got my venting done at the TEA Party in Walnut Creek, yesterday. Cheering for the honks of affirmation, yelling at the others, “What?! You haven’t paid enough, yet?! How about you pay MY tax bill, then??” Gotta tell ya, those libs have NO sense of humor.

Oopp! Gotta check out the BIONICLE creation my son just brought in; it’s sprouting weapons from every appendage. BIONCILES are LEGO bio-mechanical action figures built up from pieces. The pieces interchange to allow recombination in any way imaginable, facilitating creation of entirely new and unique figures. Kinda cool.

[Pippin]

NUTTERS! The lot of them!

Is there another election coming up soon so we can vote a few of them OUT of office?

[Pippin]

Good evening!

[Darksheare]

I find it interesting that the left accused Dubya of being controlled puppet style yet he did everything he could to ignore most of the base.
On the other hand, the left claims Obama is articulate and intellectualy gifted, yet he’s a sock puppet.

[NicknamedBob]

Generally speaking, the best filter for the pronouncements of the left, and the “mainstream media”, is that everything they say is completely false.

Whatever they say, and however they assure us it is absolutely true, just reverse the spin, and you’ll have the correct viewpoint.

As truck-driver Norman said on the Rush Limbaugh show, in regard to Obama’s recent press briefing, “If any of what he was saying was true, he wouldn’t need to be saying it!”

[sionnsar]

Cooking not a problem today. It’s been pouring snow.

[sionnsar]

16 week furlough -- ouch! I don't feel so bad about my employment now.

But I suspect if I had not gotten this "new" job, I'd be gone.

[sionnsar]

Hello!

[NicknamedBob]

"Cooking not a problem today. It’s been pouring snow."

Man! That place must be even more radioactive than I thought it was if you can cook with the snow!

I bet it's "heavy" to shovel, too.

[ThomasThomas]

I saw some snow on the near by mountain tops when I went to Victorvile Wednesday. Right next to Oak City home of Shed World.

http://www.shedworld.com/