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Post some good jokes

Posted on 03/29/2009 7:41:27 PM PDT by A_cool_guy

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: comicrelief; freepun; humor; jokes; molassesmiasma; monkeyface; monkeyfacerules; penguinhumor; sionnsar; trolltimer; undeadthreadapril; zot; zotemifyougotem; zotthenewbie
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To: fanfan; stand watie; Darksheare; Monkey Face

Good! Then when I see a UFO type alien I’ll just say which leader do you want me to take you to? LOL!


1,201 posted on 04/11/2009 4:58:53 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: NicknamedBob; fanfan; Monkey Face

Food for thought?


1,202 posted on 04/11/2009 4:59:40 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: Anoreth

Thanks Anoreth.

Please tell her I’m planning to going prostrate on the sofa myself.

Have a great night.

:-)


1,203 posted on 04/11/2009 5:00:57 PM PDT by fanfan (God, Bless America, please.)
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To: grey_whiskers
How about Giuness IN chocolate?

A FReeper Friend mf mine who's English sent me liqour filled chocolate "kegs"

If you don't hear from me for a while you'll know why! ;o)

1,204 posted on 04/11/2009 5:02:34 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: Anoreth; Tax-chick
Good Night!

Have a Happy and Blessed Easter!

1,205 posted on 04/11/2009 5:03:56 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: sionnsar
trebuchant?

YEAH!!!

1,206 posted on 04/11/2009 5:04:37 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: Darksheare; All
trust me on this: 1500 WATTS of RF at 40M will "get your attention"!!! ("can you say, RF BURNS, children? SURE, you CAN!")

"loading up" that railing reminds me of a tale that my grandfather used to tell:=======>

when i was a young man in the 1890s, i once saw a Texas cowpoke take off every stitch of his clothes & went and jumped into a bunch of Spanish dagger & prickly pear cactus. i asked him what possessed him to do such a thing.

the young fellow said: It seemed like a right GOOD idea at the time!

free dixie,sw

1,207 posted on 04/11/2009 5:32:15 PM PDT by stand watie (Resistance to TYRANTS is OBEDIENCE to God. T. Jefferson, 1804)
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To: Pippin
LOL.

free dixie,sw

1,208 posted on 04/11/2009 5:37:30 PM PDT by stand watie (Resistance to TYRANTS is OBEDIENCE to God. T. Jefferson, 1804)
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To: Pippin; All
a group of US astronauts (a few years in the future) land on a distant planet, where the women are all 15 feet tall.

upon learning this, the leader of the group said:

"Take me to your ladder. it's been a LONG flight."

free dixie,sw

1,209 posted on 04/11/2009 5:39:24 PM PDT by stand watie (Resistance to TYRANTS is OBEDIENCE to God. T. Jefferson, 1804)
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To: stand watie

Don’t those jokes belong in the archeology forum?


1,210 posted on 04/11/2009 5:50:44 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (Panicked at seeing Scarecrow twitching and shaking, Dorothy unplugs the teleprompter. "Uh, um, er .")
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To: A_cool_guy

One day, Jimmy “Peanut” Carter was looking for a call girl. He found 3 such ladies at a local lounge...a blonde, a brunette and a red head. To the blonde he asked, “how much will it cost to spend time with you?” The blonde replied $300.00. He asked the brunette the same, and she said $100.00. Then he asked the redhead, whos reply was as follows:

“Mr. President, if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes, get my panties as low as my wages, get that thing of yours as hard as the times, keep me warmer than my apartment & screw me the way you do the public...believe me, it won’t cost you a damn cent!!!”


1,211 posted on 04/11/2009 5:58:10 PM PDT by Atom Smasher
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To: NicknamedBob; All
pardon me, BUT the topic is JOKES. NOT "good jokes", "NEW jokes" or even "tasteful jokes".

rotflmRao.

free dixie,sw

1,212 posted on 04/11/2009 6:00:02 PM PDT by stand watie (Resistance to TYRANTS is OBEDIENCE to God. T. Jefferson, 1804)
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To: stand watie

LOL!


1,213 posted on 04/11/2009 6:01:41 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: stand watie; NicknamedBob; Darksheare; All
Well, here's a joke!

While we're speaking of Aliens and I just watched on YouTube The newest Dr Who Episode, I just had to have a go at this one

What do you call a miser on Gallifrey? (It's not Obama!)

Dime Lord of the Rings (in his nose)

1,214 posted on 04/11/2009 6:08:11 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: NicknamedBob
One day Obama was sitting in the Oval Office (try not to picture it)

The Ghost of Abraham Lincoln appeared.

Obama asked why he was there

Lincoln replied "I came to set the slaves free again"

Obama was puzzled "What slaves?"

The ones you think you're helping by tying thier hands and cutting off thier dreams.

Who are they asked Obama

The American people!

Obama screamed and Lincoln disappeared saying he's going to his "room" now.

1,215 posted on 04/11/2009 6:14:46 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: sionnsar
I found out recently one thing thats good about Jimmy Carter?

He make's a good peanutbutter and balogna sandwich!

1,216 posted on 04/11/2009 6:20:06 PM PDT by Pippin
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To: stand watie
pardon me, BUT the topic is JOKES. NOT "good jokes", "NEW jokes" or even "tasteful jokes".

And I quote: "Post some good jokes" -- The Thread Title ...

I rest my case.

(By the way, I know at least one that is older than you are, but this is said to be a "Family Thread", whatever that means.)

1,217 posted on 04/11/2009 6:34:05 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (Panicked at seeing Scarecrow twitching and shaking, Dorothy unplugs the teleprompter. "Uh, um, er .")
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To: NicknamedBob
i meant "good" as in "terminally clean" - i presume "PG" is OK.

free dixie,sw

1,218 posted on 04/11/2009 6:38:02 PM PDT by stand watie (Resistance to TYRANTS is OBEDIENCE to God. T. Jefferson, 1804)
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To: NicknamedBob
NOBODY is older than i FEEL today - "Mr Arthritis" has come to visit for the weekend/WEAK end.

free dixie,sw

1,219 posted on 04/11/2009 6:42:38 PM PDT by stand watie (Resistance to TYRANTS is OBEDIENCE to God. T. Jefferson, 1804)
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To: All
today's tasteLESS joke:

two female jihadis are preparing for their suicide mission. looking in the mirror, one looks at the other & says:

"Does this belt make me look FAT???"

free dixie,sw

1,220 posted on 04/11/2009 6:45:58 PM PDT by stand watie (Resistance to TYRANTS is OBEDIENCE to God. T. Jefferson, 1804)
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