Post some good jokes

[A_cool_guy]

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

In honor of our last thread, our current thread and da UP I present this joke.

Ole was looking for a job and heard that their was an opening for a janitor at the local Lutheran church. He applied for the job and the interview went very well. “You have the job,” he was told, “just sign this paper.”

Ole made a big “X” on the paper.

“What’s that?” he was asked.

“That’s my mark.”

“You’re supposed to sign your name.”

“That’s my mark,” Ole replied, “I cannot read or write.”

“What? We’re sorry, to work here you have to be able to sign your name.”

Well, Ole finally got himself a job as a mate on a tugboat, and eventually he became captain of his own tugboat. He did well for himself and eventually had a fleet of ships of his own and became one of the wealthiest men in the community.

One day the mayor decided to honor him for setting such a good example for other immigrants, and what they can accomplish with hard work and ingenuity. The mayor says, “Sven, we want to give you the key to the city! Just sign this form.

“Sven made a big “X” on the paper.

“What’s that?” he was asked.

“That’s my mark.”

“Your mark?” the mayor asked.

“Aih, I cannot read or write, so that’s my mark.”

“You accomplished all of this not being able to read or write?” The mayor exclaimed. “Just think what you could have done if you could read and write!”

“Yes,” Sven said. “I could have been a church janitor.”

[MortMan]

Daddy dearest came to bail out junior (and no - I didn’t look for the answer).

[MortMan]

When you see the “occupied” sign, you know the hypotenuse.

(High-pot in use)

[Cyber Ninja]

Years from now Obama and Bush die of old age only a second apart.

They arrive at the Pearly Gates. Obama died only one second before W so he is ahead in line.

St. Peter says to Obama, “Here are your robes of silk and your staff of gold. Welcome to Heaven”.

W steps up next. St. Peter says to Bush, “Here are your robes of cotton and your staff of wood. Welcome to Heaven”.

George asks, “St. Peter, he gets silk and gold? And I get cotton and wood?”

St. Peter says, “George, while you were President, the people slept. While Obama was President the people prayed. The Lord rewards results.”

[sionnsar]

“Yes,” Sven said. “I could have been a church janitor.”

Ah well. Had it been an Anglican church he could have been a sexton. Apropos of nothing...

[sionnsar]

LOL!

[Cyber Ninja]

Wazn’t phoney da 1st time...

[sionnsar]

Good night all.

[Pippin]

Oi!

I'm here!

[Cyber Ninja]

see post 104

[Jo Nuvark]

Not sure I understand... but it’s really
nice to hear from you Scotty!

[darkangel82]

placemark

[Danae]

Ok how many congress critters does it take to screw in a lightbulb....

No one knows they are still screwing it.

[bobaloobob]

are you sure you didn’t see the answer first...then wrote Daddy? Hmmm?

[mountn man]

Who made the mark? Ole or Sven? Who was the janitor, Ole? Was Sven the captain? Or is it the other way around?

[Tax-chick]

Good morning! Wednesday didn’t want to get up.

[Tax-chick]

[MortMan]

I may not be sure, but I am certain! ;-P

[Tax-chick]

There seems to be a lot of April Fools posting today. I think I’ll keep low ...

[darkangel82]

I noticed it too.