Posted on 03/09/2009 1:50:19 PM PDT by OneVike
How To Tell If You're An Extreme Redneck.....
It's time to lighten up a bit and take a break from the stress of reality for a bit and laugh.
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines. '
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You paid 35 hunnert dollars fer a used what?!!
I once declined a offer to go bar hopping by aircraft around SW Texas.
ROTFLMAO !!
If you have every flown low enough to navigate using highway signs or names on water towers........
If you’ve ever used your passenger an pilots doors as adhoc rudders.......
Ack! I did that once! But only because someone (not myself, obviously) had fastened the chain before we left (through the garage). I promise.
And it becomes a pancake.
True story.
Sheriff's order destroys home; ... HIGHWAY BLOCKED FOR NINE HOURS [single wide trailer]
“Hey, if God had intended for us to wash dishes, he wouldn’t have given dogs tongues.”
Best laugh of the day...Thanks!
If your girlfriend's kids call you "Uncle Daddy".........
If you go to your first job interview holding a beer...........
If your front porch collapses and kills three dogs.......
If you visit relatives and they make you a huckleberry pie.............
:}
Now that’s my kind of woman!
If you have ever had 4 people in a Tri-Pacer on a hot day at ISP, and the tower offered you an intersection takeoff for RWY 24, and you took it!
And upon “clearing” the approach lights for 6, your co-pilot cracked the window and said, “Missed ‘em by a good 2 feet......”
LOL..... Remind me to tell you why density altitude and 5.56MM brass is a bad thing some day ......
ROLLING ON THE FLOOR CRYING MY EYES OUT
This really happened!
You must know about South East DC, or West Baltimore.
BTW, try Stone Brewing Co. Arrogant Bastard Ale. Tasty.
ping
sw
Piggly Wiggly is still around?
What you have to do is carry good ‘binoc’s with you ...
Ever hear of the guy who set his plane down on a pass in Montana because of fog and then taxied over the pass on I90 then took off again????
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