Posted on 01/07/2009 6:41:53 AM PST by GeorgiaDawg32
(Washington, D.C., 1/8/09) In a statement to be released tomorrow, the incoming administration of President-Elect Barack Obama has promised government intervention in the worldwide web by the creation of a U.S. mandated operating system to be named “Barix 1.0" which will, by government decree, replace Windows, MAC and Linux among a few, plus a plethora of browsers such as Firefox and Internet Explorer."
“The esteemed, highly decorated and patriotic Senator Kerry once said, “You can’t professionalize unless you federalize” when talking about the creation of the TSA. The creation of this professionally prepared, foolproof government created operating system will be as efficiently handled as other government programs. We expect it to be rolled out on schedule in 2010, and hopefully under the $712.8B budget currently being allocated.”
“The free market and privately/publicly owned companies have failed miserably to limit unacceptable content. Access on Barix 1.0 will be granted to mainstream sites such as ABC.com, CBS.com, MSNBC.com, the HuffPo and DU, but in order to visit sites of questionable origin such as FOX, Drudge, Rush, Boortz and so on, permission will be required from the government. A simple request form of only 127 pages of single spaced questions (plus additional blank pages to explain some answers), plus your addition into a government database, plus a complete background check and access to your financial records will enhance, though not guarantee, the slim chance you’ll be able to read these sites, provided they’re still online once we complete the purge.”
Developing..
Exactly! The text is so small for the keywords, that I seldom read them. Doesn't change the fact that satire doesn't belong in news, anyway.
(Besides... you should never use commercial software before v.2.1 anyways)
[/sarc]
Meanwhile, Liberal Jews are clueless again! As a Conservative Republican Jew, I can say that as I listen and watch their stupidity with revulsion.
Totally, good enough to be in Scrappleface or the People’s Cube.
On the other hand, I wouldn’t doubt that Harry and Nancy are working on a press conference to take credit for the idea. The next couple of years will be excellent fun if you aren’t into outcomes.
What the heck is this idiot doing? He’s even named a an operating system after himself. This is sick, sick and sick.
I hope the Supreme Court is paying attention to what’s coming because they won’t have any say in any matter before long.
Gosh, I thought it was for real.
This is like satire the way mugging is like hugging.
It isn't post in humor. It's posted in news. See the address url?
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2160220/posts
Do you see humor in there anywhere? No. NEWS.
You just called it humor (topic) but posted it in news.
Today's satire is tomorrow's reality...
Its kinda sad you did not realize it right away ;)
How long have we had “one-touch” cameras (”So advanced, it’s simple!”)? Why can’t we have calculators with just an equals button?
Yes it is because the way things are going it is totally believable.
Awe man...you almost gave me a heart attack. You need to have some mercy on us old folk. It finally occurred to me to check the source, and fortunately, I happened to know that the source produces satire. Whew....Too close to real.
But I'm a techie, and I'm naturally skeptical...
LOL!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.