Posted on 10/08/2007 7:42:44 PM PDT by Pharmboy
Maybe Sting should start writing more instrumentals.
The school teacher-turned-rock star topped Blender's list of the worst lyricists, thanks to lines that betray "mountainous pomposity (and) cloying spirituality," the music magazine said.
The survey, contained in the November issue that hits newsstands next week, placed Rush drummer Neil Peart at No. 2, Creed frontman Scott Stapp at No. 3, Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher at No. 4, and soft-rocker Dan Fogelberg at No. 5.
Blender assailed Sting for such alleged sins as name-dropping Russian novelist Vladimir Nabokov in the Police tune "Don't Stand So Close to Me," quoting a Volvo bumper sticker ("If You Love Someone Set Them Free"), and co-opting the works of Chaucer, St. Augustine and Shakespeare.
A spokeswoman for the English rocker, who is currently in Belgium on the Police's reunion world tour, did not respond to a request for comment.
Blender described Canadian rocker Peart's lyrics as "richly awful tapestries of fantasy and science," and said Gallagher "seemed incapable of following a metaphor through a single line, let alone a whole verse."
Further down the ranks, Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant (No. 23) was derided for his Tolkienesque musings on Gollum and Mordor in "Ramble On."
Carly Simon (No. 31) was mocked for rhyming "yacht," "apricot" and "gavotte" in "You're So Vain."
Paul McCartney made No. 38, thanks in part to "Ebony and Ivory," his socially conscious duet with Stevie Wonder.
Reuters/Nielsen
Funny this should come up. I just printed out some lyrics from”La Boheme” to show my kid the English major how good lyrics can be — even when translated from Italian to English.
SACRILEGE!
How about...
CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE lyrics - Muskrat Love
(Willis Alan Ramsey)
Muskrat, Muskrat, candle light
Doin’ the town and doin’ it right in the evenin’
It’s pretty pleasin’
Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug at a Muskrat Land
And they shimmy, Sam is so skinny
And they whirl and they twirl and they tango
Singin’ and jinglin’ a jangle
Float like the heavens above
Looks like Muskrat Love
Nibblin’ on bacon
Chewin’ on cheese
Sam says to Suzie
Honey, would you please be my Mrs
Suzie says, yes, with her kisses
Now, he’s ticklin’ her fancy
Rubbin’ her toes
Muzzle to muzzle
Now anything goes as they wriggle
Sue starts to giggle
And they whirled and they twirled and they tango
Singin’ and jinglin’ a jangle
Floatin’ like the heavens above
Looks like muskrat love
The lyric “De-doo-doo-doo, de-dah-dah-dah” pretty much sealed Sting’s mediocrity (in lyric writing) for me. He’s a hell of a singer though.
Nice to see somebody else note the Renaissance Faire quality of some of that Zeppelin stuff. Only Jethro Tull could out goofy them in that competition.
Renaissance Faire quality of some of that Zeppelin stuff. Only Jethro Tull could out goofy them in that competition
ELP has my vote
Soon the Gypsy Queen in a glaze of Vaseline
Will perform on guillotine
What a scene! What a scene!
Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand
to Alexander's Ragtime Band
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!
I always thought Dan Fogelberg wrote great lyrics
“CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE lyrics - Muskrat Love”
Someone else did that before C and T...I’ll guess America.
“I always thought Dan Fogelberg wrote great lyrics”
I agree...I like Fogelberg. The first time I went to West Point to visit my brother, some cadet had his speaker in the window playing ‘Part of the Plan’ so the whole quad could hear it. Loved it.
...I know the perfect little path
Out in these woods I used to hunt
Don’t worry babe I’ve got your back
And I’ve also got your front
Now, I’d hate to waste a night like this
I’ll keep you safe you wait and see
The only thing allowed to crawl all over you when we get there is me.
You know every guy in here tonight
Would like to take you home
But I’ve got way more class than them
Babe that ain’t what I want.
‘Cause I’d like to see you out in the moonlight
I’d like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I’d like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I’d like to check you for ticks....
I don't know, Neil Peart can write some really good stuff that has nothing to do with science or fantasy. Rush's strength, though, mostly lies in the music itself.
Kind of embarrassing that some group released that song...worse that there was a remake. :-)
Mark
Yeah, I guess the Nabokov name drop was kind of tacky. But Neil Pert has Sting easily beat in the bad lyrics category. He’s kind of like an Aynd Rand novel set to music.
Paul Simon is probably my favorite lyricist. In an interview he said one of his approaches to writing lyrics is to start by scat singing word fragments and unformed phrases and seeing what emerges. So he starts with words as sounds, and their meaning comes later.
Scott Stapp should win this award hands down. I wouldn’t be surprised if David Cross is right and he sat outside junior highs listening to the poetry of 7th grade girls. Actually some of that is probably better than what he writes.
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