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*** The OFFICIAL Weekend Singles Thread *** August 10th-12th 2007-Death and how it affect singles
10th August 2007 | Snugs

Posted on 08/10/2007 5:13:24 PM PDT by snugs

This weekend's topic may seem morbid and maybe not the topic for a summer weekend but we did touch this subject slightly last week.

Death has an impact on all our lives whether we are single or not however it can be more poignant to those who are on their own as they do not have the backup of a spouse to ease the pain and sense of loss. It can also make us feel even more alone and desperate for a partner if the death is that of a parent.

Do you fear death either your own or a close friend or family member?

Does death impact how you lead your life ?

If you though you only had a short time to live how would that affect you in various aspects of your life and would you be honest about it when meeting someone new.

What are your thoughts about an after life?

Do you think that death is an acceptable subject for a social discussion or is it on your ban list?

Do you feel awkward and not know how to deal with someone if they advise that they have a life threatening disease or even more so if they have been told they do not have long to live?

The above is only intended as opener to the subject please feel free to discuss any topic relating to the above or anything that you wish to this subject is only designed to get the discussion moving this weekend but does not mean it limits us to this subject.


TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Religion
KEYWORDS: singles
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Pippen:"I didn't think it would end this way." Gandalf:"End? No the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path. One that we all must take. The grey rain curtain rolls back and all turns to silver glass. And then you see it." Pippen:"What, Gandalf? See what?" Gandalf:"White shores. Ad beyond...a far green country under the swift sunrise." Pippen: "Well...that isn't so bad." Gandalf: "No. No it isn't."
1 posted on 08/10/2007 5:13:27 PM PDT by snugs
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To: 38special; aft_lizard; abishai; A knight without armor; Alberta's Child; Allegra; Amityschild; ...

2 posted on 08/10/2007 5:16:32 PM PDT by snugs ((An English Cheney Chick - Big Time))
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To: snugs
Before I get to the actual topic at hand, my sister sent me a few pics of my baby nephew, Tristan:

Isn't he an adorable kid?

3 posted on 08/10/2007 5:22:43 PM PDT by GOP_Raider (Your one stop shop for all your useless information needs.)
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To: snugs
Hi Snugs. I lost both of my parents and am single. I do have a large family so I am only alone when I want to be.

Do you fear death either your own or a close friend or family member?

I fear for my family, and I guess I fear being the last to go. The pain I went through with my mom was horrible. We took her to the hospital for a medical test that was out patient. She never came home, spending 3 months in ICU before dying.

Does death impact how you lead your life ?

Live every day like it was your last, one day you will be right.

What are your thoughts about an after life?

My priest told me his idea of Heaven was to be fishing and catching a 400 pound Marlin. It would take him a year to reel him in. Once he had, he would pat it on the head and say, "Let's do this again in a year."

4 posted on 08/10/2007 5:27:02 PM PDT by mware (By all that you hold dear..on this good earth... I bid you stand! Men of the West!)
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To: GOP_Raider
He is a cutie. Here is my newest nephew, William Tyler.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

5 posted on 08/10/2007 5:28:46 PM PDT by mware (By all that you hold dear..on this good earth... I bid you stand! Men of the West!)
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To: snugs

My biggest fear about living alone and death is that I will die in my bed overnight, and nobody will know for a time. After a week, my dog Crystal will either die of hunger or be well fed.


6 posted on 08/10/2007 5:31:28 PM PDT by Lokibob (Some people are like slinkys. Useless, but if you throw them down the stairs, you smile.)
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To: GOP_Raider
He IS adorable! Is he ordering pizza in the last shot? (and surely he's not thinking of death ... LOL)

I've actually been thinking very strongly of death all day long today, funny you should mention it. I had blood drawn yesterday and got a phone call this morning first thing from my doctor and they've been calling me all day to tell me to go into the emergency room and get checked into the hospital as my hemoglobin is down to 4.1 and the hematocrit is at 12.7 (I normally run in the 7-9 range with the hemoglobin. If you know blood values, you know this is as low as you can go! LOL So they're all upset and trying to get me to rush to the hospital and have blood transfusions. Ah shoot and a half. People, people, people ... no thanks. So I have told them no thanks. I will go outpatient on Monday for the type and cross and I will go outpatient for the transfusion itself on tuesday and that is what I will do. I hate the hospital. I hate the ER even more so. And no matter how much the dr promises an easy ride out of it with a direct admit, it NEVER works out as promised and so I just won't do it anymore, no, not ever again. So they're telling me I could code. Ah well!! Such is the game of life. LOL No I'm really not being silly and irresponsible. I have been trying for over a month to see my PCP for this problem and the way I look at it if I haven't coded yet, I ain't gonna code in the next day or so and Tuesday I'll take care of the problem. But nevertheless, you know, ... I made sure the insurance was paid up. LOL

7 posted on 08/10/2007 5:34:29 PM PDT by DancesWithCats
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To: GOP_Raider

A real cutie :o)


8 posted on 08/10/2007 5:36:25 PM PDT by snugs ((An English Cheney Chick - Big Time))
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To: GOP_Raider

Cute baby. I just came from a gathering where there was another cute baby. I must say, tho, as cute as babies are, I’m glad my child is grown!


9 posted on 08/10/2007 5:37:14 PM PDT by radiohead
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To: snugs

Oh yeah, and it doesn’t bother me because I know that when I do kick it, I’ll go home, that’s all. Home as in Heaven to be with everyone I love who has gone on before me (including all the lovely critters whose company I miss so much). I just have not a doubt about it. I’m comfortable in who I am and in how I spent my life and the choices that I made. Life has been hard but I did it right and took from no one and gave as much as I possibly could to help those less fortunate than me and, what with having my health problems, I’m still moving forward. I’m moving forward on different paths than I certainly would have chosen for myself, but still, it’s forward motion and I can look back and say ‘this person did this or that but I didn’t respond in kind’ and God has opened doors for me and life goes on. So there.


10 posted on 08/10/2007 5:39:37 PM PDT by DancesWithCats
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To: mware

Sorry to hear of the terrible experience you had with your mother.


11 posted on 08/10/2007 5:42:30 PM PDT by snugs ((An English Cheney Chick - Big Time))
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To: DancesWithCats
Take care and make sure you have a phone by you at all times just in case but I understand how you feel about not wanting the ER experience over the weekend having been through it with both my parents at various times.
12 posted on 08/10/2007 5:45:52 PM PDT by snugs ((An English Cheney Chick - Big Time))
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To: snugs

I’m approaching the first anniversary of my oldest son’s death on a motorcycle. Just this past week I’ve been really feeling the loss. Because my marriage fell apart last year not long before he died, I put off grieving for my son just to get by. Now I’m starting to feel it. I can tell this will be a difficult time. And it’s right at my birthday, in Oct.
I’m going to get through it, but it’s not going to be easy.

Being single...boy it’s going to be hard. I don’t want ex back, we don’t even speak, I have a restraining order against him. but how will I do it? I don’t know.
There’s times that the pain just about knocks me over.


13 posted on 08/10/2007 5:50:19 PM PDT by PinkDolphin
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To: All

14 posted on 08/10/2007 5:51:17 PM PDT by shbox
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To: PinkDolphin
So sorry that you are going through this difficult time - we are all here if you need to chat either publicly or freepmail.
15 posted on 08/10/2007 5:53:12 PM PDT by snugs ((An English Cheney Chick - Big Time))
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To: snugs

This is a tough one for me. I lost my step-father and uncle w/n a month of each other in the past 4 months. I have been thinking a lot about mortality and whether there is anything beyond. To me, believing in an afterlife is the easy path. We all want to believe, we want to see our loved ones again. I’ve been a widow since I was 38 and would certainly like to see my husband again. BUT...

Isn’t this all wishful thinking? There’s no proof that there is anything beyond the grave and all the wishing and praying won’t make an afterlife real.

So, I guess what I am struggling with is the finality of it; trying to be brave and not hold onto religion for an ‘answer.’ I’m not anti-religious, I pray, I’m a good person, but to my mind, none of that has anything to do with whether there is an afterlife.

Since we know ‘neither the day nor the hour,’ we should all live as good people, doing charity for others, treating our family members and co-workers well. For me, nothing in my behavior would change.

As far as an acceptable subject for discussion, I think it is a fair topic, but probably only with certain people.

My step-father had lung cancer. When I went to see him, which wound up being a month before his death, I talked to him normally. I had, however, sent him a letter a few months prior, telling him what I was doing, career-wise, and why I had chosen not to return to where my family lives on the east coast. I did this because I hadn’t seen my parents in years and my step-father was never one for phone conversations.

I had a lot of negative things I could have said, he treated my late husband and I terribly for years, but I hope I chose the higher road and just kept things light. Maybe I was a sap for not saying how I felt, but at this point, why burden a dying man? If there is any justice, as a believer, he went to his grave knowing he’d been a right ba$tard who would have to pay for his actions.

Sorry for the long post, but you’ve picked a topic that has been on my mind lately.


16 posted on 08/10/2007 5:55:23 PM PDT by radiohead
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To: snugs

Thank you so much Snugs. I appreciate it. But I don’t want this thread to turn into a big sympathy fest.
I find it hard to discuss. I can mention it, but that’s just about all I can handle so far. Yet it’s helpful to talk about it just a bit.
So if you all don’t mind, I’d be glad to just assume your kind thoughts and care and let someone else have their turn.


17 posted on 08/10/2007 5:55:59 PM PDT by PinkDolphin
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To: snugs

Thank you Snugs. Mom is my caregiver and we live together. She is always always at my side. She’s making liver and onions with spinach tonight (iron! LOL) which fortunately, I love! I HATE HATE the ER and the whole ‘hospital’ experience and I’ve been five times this past year and a half!!!! I don’t care if I do kick it. I ain’t goin’ back. LOL


18 posted on 08/10/2007 5:57:27 PM PDT by DancesWithCats
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To: PinkDolphin

The most helpful thing anyone did for me was to come over and sit beside me and just put her arm around me without talking.

The least helpful were two ladies from church, one talked baby talk to me every time she saw me, for two months. The other, every damn time she saw me (sorry, i get upset just thinking about it) She would say “awww, it’s so sad” in her “let’s be mournful” tone. I’m sorry, but one day she said it yet AGAIN and i said “yes, i KNOW” I just couldn’t stop it from coming out.


19 posted on 08/10/2007 6:00:43 PM PDT by PinkDolphin
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To: PinkDolphin

I can look on your homepage and see too beautiful reasons for you to keep on going......


20 posted on 08/10/2007 6:00:45 PM PDT by shbox
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